423. Hearing Soft Voice of God - Pastor Chai

Caleb • Lead Pastor
May 22, 2025

2 Minute Read

When I feel overwhelmed with negative emotions like worry, fear, or anger, I sit down at a desk with an open notebook. I write down everything that comes to mind, all my feelings. When it appears that God is trying to say something to me through my thoughts, I write those thoughts in a new paragraph. Then I start a new paragraph and write my counter argument against them.

Eventually I come to the point where I have nothing more to say. By that time my emotions have calmed down, and I have found the cause of my emotions and the ways to handle them. It’s because I have heard God’s voice.

God speaks constantly to us, rarely with an audible voice but through thoughts. His voice is not loud. His voice is so subtle that we can’t hear it if we are emotionally agitated. Writing my thoughts and feelings as they come to my mind helps calm the emotions and sort out the thoughts to enable me to hear God’s voice.

When I read later what I have written down previously, I find that some of the voices are accusing and condemning while others are comforting and encouraging. The former is an evil spirit’s voice disguising itself as God’s voice, and the latter is the God’s true voice.

As I learn to discern the difference between my thoughts, the devil’s ideas, and God’s true voice, I don’t have to sit down to write to hear God’s voice in the midst of daily routines.

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From this Collection: Pastor Blog
October 22, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
481. Power of Weaknesses
Continuing on last week's blog, I want to talk about another weakness. During my guest speaking engagement in Nashville, someone came up to thank me for the message and asked how I could be so precise and concise in my words and points. I'd never been asked this question in person, so I thought for a moment. I told her it is actually because of my weakness: I'm not gifted in speech, and English isn't my first language, so I have to write everything for my talk because I cannot wing it. And I don't have the Charisma or humorous presence some pastors do, so I need to be precise in my points to keep people engaged. But many people came to me during this retreat saying, "Pastor Caleb has a lot of bangers!" After almost failing OAC (Grade 13) English because of presentations, I found it delightful that God's power was most evident in my biggest weakness. We dread our weaknesses because they don't seem to have immediate merit. Weakness is a weakness no matter how you decorate it. Especially without God, it is easy to despair over our weaknesses. We find it hard to imagine how our weakness could become something good. But if we submit it to God, he can use it to turn it into strength, or to make it look like strength. Because he uses the weak to shame the strong. (1 Cor 1:27) It is not that God doesn't use our strengths. But his strengths become much more evident through our weaknesses. People find merit in embracing our weaknesses. But the Bible goes a bit further. We are not just to be open about our weaknesses; we are to "boast" about them. (2 Cor 12:9) It doesn't mean putting all our weaknesses in CAPS on our resume boastfully. It means we believe God's greatest favour will land on our weaknesses, not our strengths, and accomplish what we never thought possible. You might not have a good family background. It could be your childhood trauma. It could be your personality or tendency. It could be your not-so-dramatic faith life. If we embrace it as part of our identity and believe in God's extra favour on it, our weaknesses don't become a blockage but a building block for God's power.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

October 15, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
480. Benefit of Weaknesses
I came back last Sunday after preaching at Unity Baptist Church in Nashville. I usually preach on the theme "Abundant Life", and it has four sessions: Happiness, Identity, Purpose and Future. Interestingly, after the second session, when I preach about "Identity," which is based on our weaknesses, not strengths, people often come to me to share how they connected with my message and my weaknesses. In the session, I shared about my weaknesses, mainly my introverted personality and my speech. It seems to confirm what one leader said: "People will admire you for your strengths but connect with your weaknesses." We think of weaknesses as defects. But if we embrace them as "part" of our identity, not only do we feel authentic, but God also uses that to encourage people and connect with them. So, at one point, I began to be intentionally open about what I see as my weakness. What I shared recently was about my desire for good things (namely Apple products and Lululemon, which some people consider excessive spending), mainly because they bring "me" great joy while using them. Thankfully, many of my members appreciate that I share it openly. (I think) I used to try to be more frugal. I thought, "Why am I not as frugal as other pastors who seem to get by with very little?" I budget, and I try to manage our household finances based on biblical and sound financial principles. But I struggle to find satisfaction in using things I don't love. Some people are happy with any smartphone or computer, as long as it works. Not me. Some people are very happy with cheap, functional clothes. Not me. (By the way, not all my clothes are Lululemon!) I genuinely struggled, but I eventually embraced this as part of me. Because I sensed that God doesn't judge me for it, and He seems to joyfully satisfy me with the good things I desire, which matches what He promises. (Psalms 103:5) It doesn't mean that I now mindlessly spend money on them, but I stopped condemning myself for not being as frugal as others. Thankfully, the Bible emphasizes more about "generosity" than "frugality", which is what I try to focus on instead. In Exodus, there were two miracles in God’s provision. The first miracle was "Manna", bread God sent from heaven. The second miracle was that those who gathered a lot (because of their great appetite) had no leftovers, and those who gathered a little (those who don't eat a lot) had no deficit. (Exo 16:16-18) They all amounted to the same amount God prescribed for their collection: one "Omer" (about 2.2 L). God can satisfy both those who need a lot and those who don't. We think our weaknesses will drive away people. But they actually attract them. Only our weaknesses that are "found out" do. That said, don't compare your strength with someone else's weakness. That leads to pride. What matters is whether we receive whatever amount of God's provision with "contentment", not "comparison".

Caleb

Lead Pastor

October 8, 2026 • 4 Minute Read
479. Only This Far
This post is a translation of Pastor Lee's post from SBC's website, written on 9.27. 2026. We use certain words and ways of thinking without much thought, yet they quietly diminish the potential of our spiritual lives. One of them, I believe, is the expression many Koreans often use: ‘Only this far.’ (여기까지) Some people say that this phrase accurately describes the faith of many Korean Christians today. For example, when they are asked to serve in a ministry, they set a limit for themselves and say, ‘This is as far as I can go.’ Even those who are serving as Shepherds and Shepherd’s wives sometimes draw an invisible line in their hearts and decide, ‘This is as much as I’m willing to do.’ As I heard people describe this tendency, I could not help but ask myself, “Are we any different?” As I reflected, I realized how such thinking can hinder not only the capacity God has given us but also the work He desires to accomplish through us. One lesson I have learned through ministry is that God has given us far greater capacity than we realize. Human capacity can keep growing as long as we are willing to stretch it. Someone who struggles to care for one person today may continue responding to the challenges God places before them and eventually find themselves caring for two hundred people. Mother Teresa is a good example. When my wife lived in Korea, she would become completely exhausted after preparing a meal for ten guests. Sometimes she would even get sick afterward. But while serving in a singles house church, there were times when she prepared meals for as many as forty people, attended early morning prayer the next day, and later, when our third worship service first began, she regularly helped feed 120 young adults after worship. Today, because of her severe vision loss, she can no longer do those things, but she has become someone who is no longer intimidated by large numbers of guests. God expanded her capacity far beyond what she once thought possible. The same principle applies to intellectual abilities such as memory, learning, and understanding. Human capacity grows as it is stretched. We can be used far beyond what we believe our limits are. In fact, I believe this is part of what Jesus intended to teach through the Parable of the Talents. The servant who buried what he was entrusted with and returned it unchanged was called a wicked and lazy servant. In the same way, if we keep standing before opportunities for ministry and saying, “Only this far,” drawing our own boundaries, I believe we will one day hear a similar rebuke from our Lord. This mindset not only limits our own capacity; it also limits what God can do in and through us. Peter was the only disciple who stepped out of the boat. Even if he walked on water for only a few steps, he experienced something the others never did. Had he stayed in the boat, he would not have experienced a miracle. When we step beyond our comfort zone and take a risk in faith, God works, and we get to witness His work firsthand. When circumstances seem impossible, and we choose to tithe anyway, we discover God’s surprising provision. When life seems too busy and overwhelming to become a Shepherd, yet we commit ourselves to that ministry, we encounter God’s work in our lives. When we are sick, the natural response is to visit a doctor, but sometimes, when we step forward and ask for prayer, we experience God’s healing power in a fresh way. If we act only according to what seems reasonable and safe, we leave little room for God to demonstrate His power. It is when we step beyond what appears sensible and take a step of faith that we often experience God at work. But if we keep saying, “Only this far,” we will inevitably place limits on what God desires to do. Therefore, whenever the words “Only this far” begin to come out of your mouth, stop yourself. Instead, say, “If God desires it, I am willing to go the extra mile.” As you do, may God expand your capacity and enlarge your territory, and may you experience His wonderful work in your life.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

May 1, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
420. All the Answers Are in Jesus - Pastor Chai
I lost my parents during the Korean War, so I had a rather bleak view on life since childhood. I still have vivid memories of lying in bed, hoping the next morning would never come. I was only in third or fourth grade at that time, already depressed and suicidal. At such a young age, I was not able to express myself through questions like, "What is life?" But I struggled with the meaning of life. I felt like life was chaotic and devoid of meaning. In an effort to find life’s meaning, I read all the books I could find at home, most of which were beyond a child’s intellectual capacity. For example, I read Andre Gide's "Straight Is The Gate" and Camus' "The Plague," which are hard even for adults to understand. When I became a teenager, I questioned, "What does it mean to be a human being?" I thought psychology may provide me with answers, so I read a lot of books on psychology. In college, my reading list was mostly filled with philosophical books. I was particularly interested in existential philosophy and was a great fan of Nietzsche. However, I got tired of just studying and analyzing life. I wanted to live a real life. I longed for a happy life. Then, I got a copy of the New Testament Bible from a street evangelism team when I was in graduate school. I started to read it and finished it in three days. I slowly came to realize that Jesus's death and resurrection was an undeniable historical fact. I felt that accepting Jesus as my Lord was my only feasible option. After receiving Jesus, life started to make sense. My confusion about life gradually dissipated. My pessimistic personality became optimistic. Finally I was able to confess that I was truly happy. This is the primary reason I evangelize. While going to heaven is important, it's secondary. I want to help those living in pain and confusion experience a truly free and fulfilling life. I want them to know that Jesus is the answer to all of their life's problems.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

May 8, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
421. Unsatisfied Yearning - Pastor Chai
I was 6 years old when the Korean war broke out. My family left Seoul to take refuge in Busan, a southern port of South Korea. Despite my young age, I was terribly homesick. However, when we returned home to Seoul 3 years later, I found myself still homesick. The longing for home, oddly enough, persisted. I think most people have this longing for home that cannot be satisfied. God instills within us desires, accompanied by the means to fulfill them. When we are hungry, we eat, then the hunger disappears. When we are thirsty, we drink, then the thirst is quenched. Why, then, does this longing for home happen even when we are actually at home? The home we yearn for lies not on earth but in Heaven. God instilled this desire in us so that we don’t forget our ultimate destination, our heavenly home. The moment we die and enter Heaven, we will feel that we have finally arrived home. We have inherent yearnings not just to be home, but also for relationships, parental love, family and homeland, words that stir deep emotions within us. All these yearnings and longings will find fulfillment when we reach Heaven and gaze upon Jesus face to face. Therefore, I eagerly anticipate the day when I ascend to Heaven.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

May 15, 2025 • 3 Minute Read
422. Retreat Guest Speaker for This Year
The guest speaker for our annual members’ retreat this year is “Pastor Eric”. Those who have attended HC lay leader seminar should be familiar with him. I’ve known him for about 14 years through the house church ministry network, and I’ve always wanted to invite him, but was looking for the best timing. I felt that this year is the time, as I sensed that God is ushering our congregation into a significant change and growth in this season of ministry. I greatly appreciate his sense of humour and candid approach in communication and leadership, which I believe will not only challenge us but awaken us to a new type of “joy” that is available in serving the Lord. I feel very privileged to have him as our guest speaker this year. Please don’t miss out on this opportunity to be blessed through his messages. Here is his bio, quoted from his church’s website. — Pastor Eric Shin (affectionately known as “PE”) has been serving as the Senior Pastor of New Life Fellowship since its inception in 1997. PE was born and raised in Seoul, S. Korea until he was 13 years old, when he and his family immigrated to the U.S. and settled in New York City. Though he went through tumultuous teenage years while adjusting to life in a new country, he met Christ at the age of 18 at his home church’s fall retreat. After experiencing the joys and challenges of following Christ and serving his local church during his high school and college years, he left behind aspirations of being a lawyer in his adopted hometown of New York City and followed God’s call to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in South Hamilton, MA. In the fall of 1994, PE and his wife, Lynette, received God’s call to move their family down to Houston, Texas, where PE served at Seoul Baptist Church of Houston as the youth pastor. While serving, they responded to God’s prompting and, together with about 20 members and the blessing and loving support of Seoul Baptist Church, founded New Life Fellowship on August 10, 1997. Since then, PE has been experiencing the joy of witnessing the expansion of God’s kingdom through house church ministry. Over the years at New Life, PE, Lynette and their three now adult sons, Enoch, Caleb and Josiah, had the privilege of trekking through nine countries in Southeast Asia and China and serving in Mexico and Camp Barnabas as a family for missional purposes. PE has also had the honor of serving the Lord in far-flung places like Afghanistan where he has been able to live out his faith and share the gospel with the Muslim world. Several years ago, PE visited a college house church, where they had a potluck dinner. That evening, there were five different kinds of chicken served: McDonald’s McNuggets, Church’s Chicken, Popeye’s Chicken, Boston Market Chicken and KFC! PE will never forget that house church meal! When PE isn’t equipping New Life members to make Christ’s disciples of all nations through their house churches or prayerfully using New Life’s resources to help other churches implement their own house church ministries in the spirit of the New Testament church, he enjoys traveling with Lynette, fishing, sharing good food with good people and drinking senior citizen coffee from McDonald’s. But no matter where he is or what he’s doing, PE tries to live by one of his favorite verses in 2 Corinthians 8:9 because it reminds him of how Christ became poor for our sake, so that through His poverty we might become rich.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

Currently Reading
May 22, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
423. Hearing Soft Voice of God - Pastor Chai
When I feel overwhelmed with negative emotions like worry, fear, or anger, I sit down at a desk with an open notebook. I write down everything that comes to mind, all my feelings. When it appears that God is trying to say something to me through my thoughts, I write those thoughts in a new paragraph. Then I start a new paragraph and write my counter argument against them. Eventually I come to the point where I have nothing more to say. By that time my emotions have calmed down, and I have found the cause of my emotions and the ways to handle them. It’s because I have heard God’s voice. God speaks constantly to us, rarely with an audible voice but through thoughts. His voice is not loud. His voice is so subtle that we can’t hear it if we are emotionally agitated. Writing my thoughts and feelings as they come to my mind helps calm the emotions and sort out the thoughts to enable me to hear God’s voice. When I read later what I have written down previously, I find that some of the voices are accusing and condemning while others are comforting and encouraging. The former is an evil spirit’s voice disguising itself as God’s voice, and the latter is the God’s true voice. As I learn to discern the difference between my thoughts, the devil’s ideas, and God’s true voice, I don’t have to sit down to write to hear God’s voice in the midst of daily routines.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

May 29, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
424. A Pastor with a High Risk - Pastor Chai
When I hear news of pastors succumbing to sexual sin or financial mismanagement, I feel a sense of dread rather than shock. I can't help but think that had it been me in those situations, I may have succumbed to the same temptations. I seem to have a stronger inclination toward pleasure than most people. Before becoming a Christian, I found my greatest joy in gambling while intoxicated. This predisposition makes me more susceptible to the allure of sin than others. My attraction to pleasure and sin didn't vanish after I accepted Jesus as my savior - it persisted. As a result, I fear that if I ever loosen my grip on Jesus' hand, I will swiftly succumb to temptation. Therefore, for me, being filled with the Holy Spirit is not merely an option, it's an absolute necessity. I am widely recognized as the founder of the house church movement. If I were to fall into sin, countless individuals would be disillusioned, and the house church movement would be severely hindered. For a long time, I've been seeking an answer from the Lord as to why He would entrust someone like me, a high-risk individual, with the task of restoring the New Testament church. There are numerous pure, sincere, capable, and compassionate individuals. Why did He choose me over them, risking the collapse of the house church movement at any given moment? For quite some time, I received no response. However, Jesus recently revealed that He employs me because of my vulnerability to temptation. I am compelled to rely solely on Jesus, preventing me from attempting to act independently and requiring me to follow His guidance. While it's comforting to know that my weakness is actually a strength in the Lord's eyes, I still experience anxiety because I am aware that He will not eliminate my weaknesses. The prospect of me succumbing to temptation and derailing the house church movement will always linger. I eagerly await the day when Jesus returns. My body will be clothed with the power of the resurrection, and only then will I be liberated from my sinful desires.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

June 5, 2025 • 3 Minute Read
425. A Lion, Not A Cat - Pastor Chai
Many Christians suffer from worry and fear because they have a dim view of Jesus. They think of Jesus like a domestic cat. The Horse and His Boy is the third book in CS Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. In the story, there is a girl named Aravis living in a country next to Narnia. Her father pledged for her to be married to an old official without her consent, so she decided to run away to Narnia, a land she had always admired. She set out with two Narnian horses (Narnian horses can speak) and a young Narnian slave, Shasta, without telling her parents. While passing through the city, Aravis ran into her friend, the princess. The princess insisted she come with her to the palace, so the girl promised to meet Shasta at the cemetery outside the city the next day. When night fell, Shasta was overwhelmed by the dread of ghosts while waiting among the graves. At that moment, a cat came out from nowhere, rubbed its body against the boy and comforted him, allowing him to fall asleep. While staying overnight in the palace, Aravis learned that the evil prince was planning a surprise attack on Narnia. When Aravis met Shasta in the morning, she told him about the plot, and they rode their horses at top speed to inform the Narnian king. Along the way, the horses became exhausted and started to slow down. A fierce lion suddenly appeared and chased them, so the horses ran for their lives and were able to tell the news to the Narnian king before the evil prince's army arrived. As a result, Narnia was well-prepared, won the battle, and even captured the prince. Later, Aslan the Lion appeared (Aslan is the lion that appears throughout the Chronicles of Narnia series, symbolizing Jesus). He revealed that he had been the fierce lion that chased them to make the horses run with all their might. He told them that he was also the small cat who had comforted the boy at the graveyard. Jesus is big. He is the creator of the entire universe. All things were made through Him and are sustained in Him. This infinite God emptied himself and came to the world in a humble human body. And He invites us to be His friends. As we enjoy intimacy with Him, we sometimes forget how great Jesus is. We start to think of Him as a cat instead of a lion. If we don’t understand the full scope of who He is, we can't be free of worry or fear because we can't truly trust Jesus. We must pursue intimacy with Jesus but should always remember that He is also an awe-some God.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

June 12, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
426. The reason I post youth ministry-related announcements for Sunday
Youth ministry (and Children’s ministry) are often easy to view in a silo. Simply because they are isolated, separate ministries that operate independently of adult ministries, it can be easy to think what happens in youth ministry is independent of adult ministry. However, youth ministry impacts the entire church because of two key components: graduation and youth shepherds. Graduation means that youth of The Seed will become adults of the The Seed. So successes in youth ministry directly translate over to successes in adult ministry, since all the success stories of youth ministry are moving in towards adult ministry. Youth Shepherds, through youth ministry, become strong adult members who trust in God and have a shepherd heart. Many team leaders in our church, are youth shepherds or former youth shepherds. In many ways, youth ministry has impacted and shaped the core leaders of adult ministry today. I used to not put youth ministry only announcements for Sunday announcements, since I too, once believed youth ministry was it’s own bubble. But now, I am very willing to inform church members, even about youth ministry announcements on Sunday service. This is because I believe youth ministry and adult ministry are linked and dependent on one another. And specifically, I believe youth ministry blessings, become direct blessings to adult ministry as well. There will be an upcoming graduation service. This is not just a routine thing we do every year for students moving on from high school, but also an acknowledgement of members from youth house church transitioning into adult house church. There will also be an upcoming youth shepherd appreciation as new youth shepherd appointment ceremony. Again, these are not just youth ministry staffing changes that made it’s way into Sunday service, but highlights and celebrates adult members who have caught our mission to restore the new testament church. These adult members return to their house churches as stronger house church members, because they understand the shepherd’s heart. So when you see a youth ministry announcement don’t dismiss it as irrelevant information, but rejoice for we are one church, one body, with many parts (1 Cor 12:12). And when you see a youth ministry budget increase, don’t think “youth ministry is taking all our money.” Think “that is a great investment for our entire church.” Because successes in youth ministry always flow in the direction of adult ministry.

Anthony

Youth Pastor

June 19, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
427. Don’t Try to Keep Commandments - Pastor Chai
Immediately after I accepted Jesus as my savior and lord, I felt like I was on cloud nine. All my past sins were forgiven, and I was given the chance to start a brand new life! But this elation didn’t last long. It turned into disappointment as I struggled in my Christian walk. I tried to obey his commands but miserably failed. I thought it might be due to a lack of will power, so I tried harder. I failed again. My disappointment turned into desperation then into resentment towards God, who seemed to demand a life that was beyond my ability. Ironically, I got out of this quagmire by admitting I was not able to obey God’s commands. Jesus said the two greatest commandments are to love God with all my heart, soul, and mind and to love my neighbors as myself. No matter how hard I tried, though, I would never be able to do it. I couldn’t even keep the smallest commandment on my own! Then why does God give us commandments at all? They are God’s list of prayer requests. God invites us to pray for these requests so that He can fulfill them in us through His power. So I stopped trying and started praying. This freed me from guilty feelings, and His commands somehow began to be carried out in my life. Obviously, God starts working when we stop working.

Caleb

Lead Pastor

June 26, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
428. Are You Filled with the Holy Spirit- Pastor Chai
While everyone desires to be filled with the Holy Spirit, many find it difficult to provide a concrete definition of what that looks like. In the early days of my faith, I understood being filled with the Holy Spirit as a "spiritual experience," like feeling a burning sensation or speaking in tongues. However, I saw people who had intense spiritual experiences continue to live lives no different from unbelievers, so I realized that these experiences alone didn't equate to being filled with the Holy Spirit. Then, influenced by Reformed theology, I understood being filled with the Holy Spirit as a changed life. But I couldn't shake the feeling that there must be something more to it than just a change in character and lifestyle. Now, at the age of 80, I believe I can actually define being filled with the Holy Spirit. It's about seeing things from God's perspective and manifesting the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit in your life. A person filled with the Holy Spirit doesn't see things from their own perspective nor the world's perspective, but from God's. And in their life they manifest love, wisdom, and power that could only come from the Holy Spirit. According to this definition, having a powerful spiritual experience without a changed perspective doesn't mean you're filled with the Holy Spirit. Similarly, having a transformed life without exhibiting supernatural love, wisdom, or power beyond your own capabilities doesn't equate to being filled with the Holy Spirit. I believe that Paul's statement, "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Gal 2:20) perfectly encapsulates what it means to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Caleb

Lead Pastor