HC Lay-leader Seminar Testimony - Sarah Cho

Admin •
September 14, 2025

6 Minute Read

Hi, everyone. My name is Sarah, and today I will be sharing my testimony about my experience at the House Church Lay Leader Seminar in Houston I attended along with Jeesu and Chan.

To give some context about how I felt about house church before attending the seminar, we need to take a short trip down memory lane. Many years ago, I served as a youth shepherd here at The Seed, and at that time, I felt that my end goal would be to become an adult shepherd – specifically, a shepherd’s wife, but for now we’ll just leave it as adult shepherd. I was young, energetic, and had a passion and fire for house church ministry.

And then I entered adulthood, which was a whole lot of trials and suffering. Life became extremely difficult, and instead of turning to God, I tried doing everything my own way. Because I had so little of God’s love in me, I had so little love to give to others at house church. Selfishly, I only served out of obligation, or only when it wasn’t an inconvenience to me. I also watched the shepherds around me – my parents, my older brother, my own shepherd – and saw how difficult and sacrificial the role was. It looked too hard. The passion and fire I had for house church ministry died down, and I pretended I never felt God’s push to become a shepherd.

I remained in this rut until the beginning of this year when Pastor Chai came to our church for the KSC Revival Meeting. At this point, I had run so far from the idea of possibly becoming a shepherd that I had forgotten about it, but I was also very tired of being in a spiritual rut, so I attended the very last session. At this session, Pastor Chai said that the most unique joy we as Christians could experience is celebrating a VIP coming to Christ with our house church. He also said that one of the most honourable things we can do for God is to serve as a shepherd and live the life of sacrifice to bring the lost to Christ. When I heard this, something in my head clicked. The reasons I found house church to be difficult were because of my own selfishness and how I had lost sight of our church’s mission: to create a church where unchurched people love to belong. I was challenged to repent, and I once again felt God’s push to pray and prepare to become a shepherd – only this time, the push felt much stronger. That night, I decided to turn to God, start actively praying for the heart and means to become a shepherd at The Seed, and to attend the next Lay Leader Seminar.

Through Pastor Eric’s lectures during the seminar, God helped me to develop two new perspectives about house church and shepherding.

The first is about prayer. I always knew it was important, but I further learned that it is not just important – it is crucial. House church ministry cannot happen without prayer. If there is no prayer, there is no power. If there is little prayer, there is little power. If there is much prayer, there is much power. Choosing not to pray is a declaration of independence from God. When we pray, God speaks to us. When God speaks to us, we obey. So, we are to pray and do house church ministry exactly how God tells us to do it, and this way, we will be able to enjoy the ministry without being burnt out.

The second perspective I learned is that house church doesn’t have to be perfect. In Luke Chapter 10, Mary and Martha hosted Jesus in their home. While Martha was preoccupied and stressed about the house preparations, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to him. Both Mary and Martha served, but Mary chose what is most important. Pastor Eric told us to not be Martha when serving, but to be present. During the house church visitation at Houston, I saw how much of a Martha I was, and how much of a Mary the shepherd, Esther Kwack, was. There was a VIP visiting for the third time that night. I said hello to him, introduced myself, then turned to the kitchen to ask the host if there was anything I can help with. While others talked with the VIP, I tossed the salad. During dinner, the shepherd sat with the VIP and talked with him the whole time. I, on the other hand, was worried about how loud the two dogs were barking, and how one member was so preoccupied with her young child that she wasn’t able to eat and talk with the others. During sharing time, I often thought, “Wow, the conversations are getting sidetracked. They should really stick to the sharing structure.” I would often look at the shepherd to see if she was also as stressed as I was, but, like Mary, she was calm and present. She didn’t try to control the flow of house church. She didn’t stop conversations that were off topic. She led with a peaceful and graceful heart. I know that the things I was concerned about weren’t inherently wrong. It’s good for house church to run smoothly. But if we focus on making everything perfect, we lose sight of why we do house church. Through this experience, God revealed to me the condition of my heart and my need for control.

I went to the seminar with a lot of doubts and fears. I lack leadership skills. I’m not a great decision-maker. I’m a closed-off person. Cooking is very stressful for me. There are a handful of other reasons I think I’m not cut out for the role. To be completely transparent, these doubts and fears still remain, but I was able to leave Houston with the promise from God that He will provide, pave the way, and prepare me during this season of my life. Through this, I was able to make the concrete decision that when God calls me in His time, I will obey with a grateful heart and not delay in taking the next step.

I would like to thank Pastor Caleb, my shepherds Joy and Phil, and my house church for all the prayers and encouragement I received throughout this process.

Thank you so much for listening to my testimony!

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August 9, 2026 • 8 Minute Read

Living Life Testimony (19) - Janice Goh

Hi everyone, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Janice. I first came to this church because of my best friend, Esther Kim. After accepting Christ, I was really excited to begin this new journey of faith, but if I'm being honest, I also felt completely lost. I had so many questions about the Bible, about Christianity, and even about who God really is. One day Esther came to me and said, "Why don't we take Living Life together? Then you can ask all the questions you've been wanting to ask." We actually tried to join during the winter, but because we were studying in Guelph and Living Life wasn’t offered online, we couldn’t attend. Looking back now, I’m actually glad we waited because I realized how important it was to experience this class in person. When registration opened again for the summer, Esther immediately messaged me and said, "Let's do it this time! You can stay at my house every week and I can see you more often this summer." I really wanted to say yes, but there was one problem. Summer was my co-op semester. As an international student, my co-op was really important because it helped support my living expenses and prepare me financially for the next semester. But I still hadn’t found a job, and if I couldn’t secure one soon, I had to drop my co-op. At the same time, saying “yes” to Living Life meant: travelling every Wednesday after work from Guelph to Richmond Hill which takes about 3 hours, staying until Sunday for church, and then returning home. My mind was full of worries. "What if I don't get a job?" "What if I'm making the wrong decision?" I tried to solve everything myself. I kept thinking, "I'll find a job first, and then I'll decide if I can take Living Life." But as the Living Life sign up deadline got closer, I still didn't have a job. That was when I finally stopped trying to figure everything out on my own and started praying. One day, almost out of nowhere, I texted Esther, "Let's take Living Life together. I'm going to trust God. I'll sign up first, and I'll leave the rest to Him." Looking back now, I think that was the first time I truly chose faith over certainty. When Living Life began, I enjoyed every class. Every Wednesday I learned more about who God is, but God wasn’t only teaching me through the classes. Every week, He also gave me opportunities to actually practise what I was learning, especially how to trust Him more and more. During one of my prayers, I made a promise to God. I said, "God, if You provide me with a co-op job and help me complete every Living Life class, I'll share my testimony so people will know the great things You have done for me." Near the end of May, during the last week of co-op recruitment, I had almost given up. I remember deciding that the next morning I would print my résumé and hand it out at shopping malls to look for a part-time job instead. But before I even got out of bed in that morning, my phone rang. It was my previous co-op employer. Two months earlier, I had emailed them asking if they were hiring, and they told me they weren't. But this time, they called me and offered me a hybrid co-op position. At that moment I knew this wasn't just coincidence or luck. God had already prepared a way before I could even see it. Even my work schedule worked perfectly. I worked from home three days a week and went into the Kitchener office two days a week. Every Wednesday, after work, I travelled straight from Kitchener to Richmond Hill for Living Life. Looking back, I often told people that attending Living Life felt like a reward every week. Not because travelling was easy. But because every Wednesday became another opportunity to experience God's faithfulness. He gave me energy after a full day of work. He provided enough financially for all my transportation. He helped me stay awake and focused during class after hours of travelling. Even preparing snacks became another reminder of His care. (For Living Life, we would rotate providing snacks for the classes) Even something as small as preparing snacks for class became another reminder of His care. Since I travelled directly from work, I didn’t know how I would prepare them when it was my turn. But the first time, Esther’s mom prepared everything for me, and another time, my shepherd Joy helped provide them. It reminded me that sometimes God provides through the people He places around us. One Wednesday especially reminded me of that. Because of a misunderstanding, I thought there wasn't going to be a class that week, so I accepted a nail appointment after work. (PSA: I work as a nail tech as a side hustle.) While I was working, I saw Esther messaged the group to confirm there was no class that day. But the next message was Pastor Caleb replying that we do have class. 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He ended by teaching that God allows trials only within what we are able to bear and that He always provides a way for us to endure them. That truth has stayed with me ever since.Before Living Life, whenever I faced difficulties, I would immediately think, "How am I going to solve this?" Now, my first response is becoming, "God, how are You going to lead me through this?" Living Life didn't remove my challenges. I still had work. I still had long journeys. I still had stress. But it completely changed how I walked through them. My favourite verse from Living Life is Revelation 3:20: "See, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me." Before taking this class, I thought trusting God meant waiting until I had everything figured out. Now I realise that God wasn't asking me to have all the answers. He was simply asking me to open the door and trust Him one step at a time. Looking back, I realize the greatest miracle wasn't just getting a co-op job. It wasn't making it to class every Wednesday. It wasn't even the many little ways God provided throughout the journey. The greatest miracle was that God was changing my heart. Living Life taught me that God isn't only interested in giving us answers. He wants us to know Him, trust Him, and walk with Him. Today, I still don't know what challenges tomorrow will bring. But now I know I don't have to face them alone. Before I end, I also want to thank Pastor Caleb for these 13 weeks and for always patiently answering all of my many questions. Thank you to my amazing classmates, my shepherd Joy, Esther and her family for always taking care of me and giving me a place to stay, and everyone else who has encouraged and supported me throughout this journey. Thank you.

Admin

July 19, 2026 • 5 Minute Read

Growing Life Testimony - Philip Kim

Hi everyone. My name is Phil, and I am currently serving as the Shepherd's Husband for PNG House Church. Today, I want to share how God used the Growing Life Bible Study and the Shepherd's Conference in Houston to transform my heart. Before taking the Growing Life class, I want to honestly share where I was spiritually. For quite some time, I had been struggling with apathy and burnout. My quiet time and prayer life became something I did only occasionally, and even then, it often felt like I was simply checking off a box because it was something I "should" do as a Christian rather than something I genuinely desired. In ministry, I truly love my house church members, but serving often felt heavy. There would be many nights where I would work, get into stressful and difficult situations at work, come home at 6am, wake up, set up and do house church. I would wonder to myself, "when will this become easier? When will serving start to feel normal?" Some weeks I felt energized and joyful in ministry. Other weeks I felt exhausted and discouraged. Looking back, I realized my spiritual foundation wasn't firm. My walk with God was constantly fluctuating depending on how I felt. That was where I was before taking Growing Life. Ironically, I didn't sign up because I was eager to take the class. The men in my house church wanted to take it, so I took it for their sake. But God knew I needed it far more than I realized. There were two lessons God used to begin restoring my relationship with Him. The first was learning what quiet time and prayer truly meant. As a Christian, I always knew QT stood for "Quiet Time," but I had never really stopped to think about what that meant. Quiet time means personal time with God in solace. Quiet time isn't simply reading through a chapter of Scripture and moving on. It's intentionally spending personal, undistracted time with God. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus regularly withdrew to lonely places to pray. He sought solitude to be with His Father. One of the practical things I learned was that sometimes it is better to slowly meditate on one verse than to rush through an entire chapter. Instead of asking, "What do I want God to say to me today?" I learned to sit quietly, reflect on His Word, and ask, "God, what do You want to say to me?" I honestly can't remember the last time I had simply sat in silence before God, listening instead of speaking. The second lesson was learning that ministry is a marathon, not a sprint. Somehow, I had convinced myself that if ministry felt difficult, something must be wrong. But Growing Life reminded me that serving God isn't supposed to be easy. It's supposed to stretch us. Like training a muscle, spiritual endurance develops over time. The struggle itself isn't failure. God uses that struggle to mature us and to help us see the joy of salvation in serving others. Those two lessons answered the questions I had been carrying in my heart. I realized my apathy wasn't simply because I was tired—it came from a distant relationship with God. My frustration with ministry wasn't because ministry was the problem—it was because I had been looking at it through my own limited vision instead of God's vision for His Church. Over those seven weeks with Caleb, God slowly replaced frustration with peace. And through that peace, He gave me confidence. For a long time I wondered whether I was ready to step into greater responsibility. Today, I believe God is calling me to serve as the Shepherd of PNG House Church. I don't say that because I feel capable. I say it because I believe God is calling me, and I want to obey Him. That leads to my experience at the Shepherd's Conference in Houston. I feel like the conference reaffirmed God’s promises, not only to me, but to our church as well. I can speak for all the shepherds and shepherd’s wives that attended, God prepared a table for us to eat, rest, and be refreshed. I also want to give a special thank you to our praise team, who led worship during the conference at New Life Fellowship. I'm normally not someone who raises my hands during worship. But standing there with around two hundred believers singing together, I couldn't help it. Without even thinking, my hands reached out toward God. It wasn't because of emotion alone. It was because I was overwhelmed by His faithfulness. The sermons and testimonies also reminded me how blessed we are. Listening to the pastors throughout the conference made me realize how much wisdom and stacked we are in this ministry. Become a shepherd or a marry a shepherd, just to attend this conference. its worth it. It also reminded me that our church isn't serving alone. The work we are doing through house churches and youth house churches is part of something much bigger than ourselves. God is moving through churches around the world. I want to finish with the verse that God impressed on my heart through the conference. Psalm 23:1 says, "The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing." Before Growing Life, I often focused on what I lacked—more energy, more passion, more strength, more motivation. But God reminded me that if He is truly my Shepherd, then I already have everything I need to follow Him faithfully. And because of that, I can trust Him to lead me, to sustain me, and to use me for His glory. Thank you.

Admin

May 24, 2026 • 7 Minute Read

Baptism Testimony - Youngshin Kim

I was born into a typical Confucian and Buddhist culture in Korea. We had lots of ancestor ceremonies every year, and I didn’t know anyone in my family — even distant relatives — who went to church at that time. But when I became an adult, I started wondering: “Who is the real me? Why was I born? What is the purpose of life? What is love? Is there a God?” I met my husband, and he was a good and caring person. We had two beautiful daughters, but somehow I was still unhappy, lonely, and gloomy. That made me carry so much guilt inside me, and it made me think I wasn’t a good mom. I felt like I was carrying a huge stone inside me. So I started searching for answers. I did counseling and joined some group counseling here in Canada, and it has been such an important support group for the past 9 years. We read a lot of philosophy and psychology books and shared our emotions openly. That helped lighten my guilt a lot. But I was still lonely and gloomy. At the beginning of last year, I concluded that there was no God. I was tired of searching for answers, and I thought, “If there is a God, why is the world like thi” Then a few months later, our family went through a huge suffering. It was such a massive challenge and we had to battle every single day. My husband and I agreed it was the hardest thing we had ever faced in our lives. I was scared it would never end and that we would have to live like that forever. But after four months, we could finally see it was ending. It almost felt like a miracle. I felt so much gratitude then, but I didn’t know where that gratitude should go… to me? To my husband? To the hospital staff? We all did our best, but the gratitude I felt was so much bigger than just us. So I thought, maybe I should go to church and find out. I called Sharon, who I had known her for about 7 years, and she knew about our situation. She had been praying for us. I went to Mokmin Church last October, and that was my first official church visit. I had gone one time when I was 10 years old, but after that I never wanted to go to church again. I felt so awkward, and the gospel song lyrics sounded cheesy and weird to me back then. So guess what my biggest concern was on the day I went to Mokmin Church? The gospel songs. But luckily, I was okay. I even related some of the lyrics to myself and my suffering, and a few times I teared up a little. But I wiped my tears away very quickly because I didn’t want the “church people” to see me crying. I still had my guard up really high back then. After visiting the Korean church a few times, Sharon suggested that I also visit “The Seed” church to experience something different. It was nice. Then one day, after a few visits, our praise team— thank you for playing that song — sang Holy Forever. Maybe because I had watched The Passion of the Christ the week before, when the lyrics started: “Your name is the highest, Your name is the greatest, Your name stands above them all…” from that moment, I started crying so much. Really, so much. I was thinking about Jesus, not myself. Just like the lyrics said, I truly hoped Jesus could hear us singing for Him. He is worthy. And I felt so sorry that He died for us and went through all that suffering. That became a huge turning point in my journey, and after that I became much more open to church, to people, to gospel songs — to everything. Recently I joined the Daniel Fast, and it was so helpful. I had some amazing experiences. My days became filled with the Bible, testimonies, and gospel songs instead of TV dramas or news. After one week, suddenly I had an idea. Since I felt like I was almost becoming a Christian, I prayed: “God, can You please appear in my dream the way You sometimes do for other people? I’m so curious what kind of figure You would be in my dream.” Then I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up at 6 a.m. as usual and started making my kids’ lunches. You know that feeling when you have a really good dream or a really bad dream, and the feeling stays with you after you wake up? That morning, I felt so happy, and my heart felt so warm. I kept thinking about the dream. Then after about 30 minutes, suddenly I was in shock. “Wait… wait a second… really? Was that Jes? Really? Did He listen to my prayer?” So… this was my dream. In the dream, I was staying for one week at my grand-uncle’s house. In Korea, we call older male relatives “할아버지.” I was calling him 할아버지. We spent time together all day long in his yard. He didn’t say much, but I knew he loved me so much. The whole atmosphere was filled with warmth and love. Of course, I loved him too. We were just facing each other, and I talked to him all day long. Then after one week, I had to go back to my mom’s house. So I told him I had to leave. And he said… “Visit me twice a day.” And I answered, “Yes. Yes, I will.” I was so happy because I could see him again every day, twice a day. Then I woke up. So… if that 할아버지 was Jesus, I thought, how do I visit Him twice a day? Ah… I can pray twice a day. And I’ve been doing that ever since, with joy. Jesus wants to see me and wants me to visit Him. Of course I will. I don’t know if that dream came from my unconscious mind or not, but honestly, I don’t really care what it was. Through that dream, I experienced what Jesus’ love could feel like. At some point, I realized I don’t ask those lifelong questions anymore: “How can I be happy?” “Why am I still lonely?” “Why was I born?” “What is the purpose of life?” “What is love?” I’m happier now, and I’m filled with a little more joy. But that little joy and happiness have made a huge difference in me. I’m kinder to my neighbors and greet them with genuine happiness. I’m kinder to my husband and my kids too, and I hope they can feel that. I’m so happy to be baptized today! I am so thankful to all the members of this church who have been so welcoming to me. I want to give a special thanks to my house church members and my shepperds, Sharon & Edward. The encouragement and support of both my shepperds and the house church members are one of the main reasons why I am here today. I also wanted to thank my Friday counselling group and my family, who have been so supportive and happy for me. Lastly, THANK YOU to our praise team for playing Holy Forever. Thank you.

Admin

April 5, 2026 • 7 Minute Read

Growing Life Testimony - Sean Ahn

Hi everyone, my name is Sean and this is my Growing Life testimony. The reason why I took Growing Life, well I don’t know. I’m not entirely sure why I decided to take it. I don’t remember what I was hoping to get out of Growing Life. If I’m honest, this is how my life looked ever since I joined this church. Take New Family Class, GPS, pick Housechurch, go on mission, join a team ministry and so on. At first, I thought it was because I wanted to do it, but no. I don’t wanna do missions, I don’t wanna dance and perform in front of strangers, I wish I could do more University club stuff instead of doing church, and so on. All of these, I just did, because someone told me to do it and maybe out of fear that I can’t stay here if I don’t do these things. Growing Life was the next step after Living life, so I took it. Growing Life taught me to do Quiet Time, so just like every other thing I’ve done, I did it. I won’t deny it was helpful. During my QT, I experienced healing. I had two chest pains ever since Grade 9, one in the middle of my chest, a feeling of tightness and burden, and another was on my heart, a sharp pain that attacked my nerves from my heart to my fourth finger in my right hand. One QT night, it was gone. Ever since I was young I asked for healing and look, it happened. I’m very thankful that God healed me. But even after all of this, something felt wrong. I think that’s why the last couple of months were very difficult, I couldn’t just do it anymore. I needed some sort of a breakthrough, a goal as to why I’m doing all this. I was getting tired and close to getting a burnout from trying not to be overwhelmed. I didn’t let myself be overwhelmed, “You are not doing a lot, you should be doing more, you shouldn’t be tired.” I was saved, my assurance in salvation has never been this solid and Growing life strengthened my belief further. But it was still there. Despite everything, I kept doing my Quiet Time. I asked for help, and God brought me back all the way to the start, when I didn’t know who God was. At first, I remember being so thankful to Jesus who took on my sin and resurrected with glory. In one sense, amazing! I’m all set for life now, right? But the more I do bible study, the more I serve, the more I spend time with God, a part of me was scared. I had no understanding or context for why Jesus did what he did. Of course, it’s because he loves us all, but what is that? What is love that God would go through hell? So when other people showed any form of love or care to me, I was scared. Why are you so nice to me? I sin and I hurt people, that's all I do. I don’t deserve any of this. At one time I truly believed these. The more I struggled the more I suffered, because now I know enough to deny these thoughts. But the feelings are still there and I can’t just stop feeling. So I fell into a cycle of feeling stress and adding more stress because it felt like I shouldn’t be feeling stress. Growing Life did prove me wrong. One thing I was taught is that God strengthened me to have a choice. If I accept that Jesus is Lord and I am a container, he gives me strength to overcome this war between choosing my old nature, sin, or the new nature, Jesus. Once I let go of the pride that tells me “you shouldn’t ask for help” Jesus comes into my life. In all my prayers, I end with “Let your will be done” and thanksgiving. I don’t understand how God will work through all I’m going through right now, but I can still choose to trust him. Even if my feelings say no to God, I can still choose to say yes to God. Every time I went to God, whether I blamed him or I was angry at him, he was always there. There was a day this week where I couldn’t get out of this suffering and grief that I was physically sick. It felt like something was crawling inside of my chest with fire. I cried out to God, why did I ever do anything just to suffer even more? Why did you heal me and give me something worse? But I still came to him, and he comforted me. I was worried that now that I blamed God knowing that I was wrong to blame him. But God didn’t hate me for being angry or sad, he simply stayed with me. Soon, I prayed, “God, I don’t understand why I have to go through all this, why I have to come to you in such overwhelming fear and grief, in anger and suffering, but I trust you.” Once I gave this prayer, I was healed. and he reminded me why I started this path, it was to chase after Jesus with all that I am because I experienced his love and I wanted to know how to love like him. Now I strive for his love with everything that I am. Already God is showing me why I went through such struggle and pain. Lisa was crying, and she shared that she was overwhelmed, feeling like she needs to do more to be perfect, but she isn’t enough. I also went through this struggle and I overcame through the teachings in sermons and my prayer with God. Then I realized I could comfort her. I thought it was impossible for me to be a help and a comfort to someone, but God did. Now, I’m joyful and thankful that I went through it all. Knowing this, I am excited for what the future holds for me. I may not see or understand why I have to go through certain things, but if it ends up bringing glory to God, I can move forward. For my feelings, I just need to pray to God and ask for help when I feel overwhelmed. When I felt like I didn’t want to pray, I praised God. When I praise God, whether I feel the lyrics or not, just singing them helps, Christ be magnified is a great song. I mean the bridge is so epic, I won't bow to idols, I'll stand strong and worship You And if it puts me in the fire, I'll rejoice 'cause You're there too I won't be formed by feelings, I hold fast to what is true If the cross brings transformation then I'll be crucified with You Amazing song. To conclude, I am very thankful for everything I went through. There are a lot of things I don’t understand, but Growing Life taught me how to trust God despite everything. I was equipped with many tools when I am under these situations again. I want to thank Anthony. He was so patient with me during Growing Life and he taught me so many things. And above all, I want to praise and thank God who is exactly who he says he is, faithful, good, merciful and above all, love.

Admin

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September 14, 2025 • 6 Minute Read

HC Lay-leader Seminar Testimony - Sarah Cho

Hi, everyone. My name is Sarah, and today I will be sharing my testimony about my experience at the House Church Lay Leader Seminar in Houston I attended along with Jeesu and Chan. To give some context about how I felt about house church before attending the seminar, we need to take a short trip down memory lane. Many years ago, I served as a youth shepherd here at The Seed, and at that time, I felt that my end goal would be to become an adult shepherd – specifically, a shepherd’s wife, but for now we’ll just leave it as adult shepherd. I was young, energetic, and had a passion and fire for house church ministry. And then I entered adulthood, which was a whole lot of trials and suffering. Life became extremely difficult, and instead of turning to God, I tried doing everything my own way. Because I had so little of God’s love in me, I had so little love to give to others at house church. Selfishly, I only served out of obligation, or only when it wasn’t an inconvenience to me. I also watched the shepherds around me – my parents, my older brother, my own shepherd – and saw how difficult and sacrificial the role was. It looked too hard. The passion and fire I had for house church ministry died down, and I pretended I never felt God’s push to become a shepherd. I remained in this rut until the beginning of this year when Pastor Chai came to our church for the KSC Revival Meeting. At this point, I had run so far from the idea of possibly becoming a shepherd that I had forgotten about it, but I was also very tired of being in a spiritual rut, so I attended the very last session. At this session, Pastor Chai said that the most unique joy we as Christians could experience is celebrating a VIP coming to Christ with our house church. He also said that one of the most honourable things we can do for God is to serve as a shepherd and live the life of sacrifice to bring the lost to Christ. When I heard this, something in my head clicked. The reasons I found house church to be difficult were because of my own selfishness and how I had lost sight of our church’s mission: to create a church where unchurched people love to belong. I was challenged to repent, and I once again felt God’s push to pray and prepare to become a shepherd – only this time, the push felt much stronger. That night, I decided to turn to God, start actively praying for the heart and means to become a shepherd at The Seed, and to attend the next Lay Leader Seminar. Through Pastor Eric’s lectures during the seminar, God helped me to develop two new perspectives about house church and shepherding. The first is about prayer. I always knew it was important, but I further learned that it is not just important – it is crucial. House church ministry cannot happen without prayer. If there is no prayer, there is no power. If there is little prayer, there is little power. If there is much prayer, there is much power. Choosing not to pray is a declaration of independence from God. When we pray, God speaks to us. When God speaks to us, we obey. So, we are to pray and do house church ministry exactly how God tells us to do it, and this way, we will be able to enjoy the ministry without being burnt out. The second perspective I learned is that house church doesn’t have to be perfect. In Luke Chapter 10, Mary and Martha hosted Jesus in their home. While Martha was preoccupied and stressed about the house preparations, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to him. Both Mary and Martha served, but Mary chose what is most important. Pastor Eric told us to not be Martha when serving, but to be present. During the house church visitation at Houston, I saw how much of a Martha I was, and how much of a Mary the shepherd, Esther Kwack, was. There was a VIP visiting for the third time that night. I said hello to him, introduced myself, then turned to the kitchen to ask the host if there was anything I can help with. While others talked with the VIP, I tossed the salad. During dinner, the shepherd sat with the VIP and talked with him the whole time. I, on the other hand, was worried about how loud the two dogs were barking, and how one member was so preoccupied with her young child that she wasn’t able to eat and talk with the others. During sharing time, I often thought, “Wow, the conversations are getting sidetracked. They should really stick to the sharing structure.” I would often look at the shepherd to see if she was also as stressed as I was, but, like Mary, she was calm and present. She didn’t try to control the flow of house church. She didn’t stop conversations that were off topic. She led with a peaceful and graceful heart. I know that the things I was concerned about weren’t inherently wrong. It’s good for house church to run smoothly. But if we focus on making everything perfect, we lose sight of why we do house church. Through this experience, God revealed to me the condition of my heart and my need for control. I went to the seminar with a lot of doubts and fears. I lack leadership skills. I’m not a great decision-maker. I’m a closed-off person. Cooking is very stressful for me. There are a handful of other reasons I think I’m not cut out for the role. To be completely transparent, these doubts and fears still remain, but I was able to leave Houston with the promise from God that He will provide, pave the way, and prepare me during this season of my life. Through this, I was able to make the concrete decision that when God calls me in His time, I will obey with a grateful heart and not delay in taking the next step. I would like to thank Pastor Caleb, my shepherds Joy and Phil, and my house church for all the prayers and encouragement I received throughout this process. Thank you so much for listening to my testimony!

Admin

August 24, 2025 • 7 Minute Read

Confirmation Testimony - Esther Kim

Hello everyone! Not everyone may know me, but I am the fourth Esther at the Seed with the last name of Kim. I’m up here today to share about how God has worked in my life time and time again and saved me with His Goodness. This testimony is long overdue, but only now, in my third year of university, I have the courage to come up here and share with you all my story. For as long as I can remember, relationships were the anchor of my life. Even the thought of losing an important relationship would trigger panic attacks, leaving me with chest pains or painful indigestion. I looked for a sense of belonging and peace in the security of my earthly relationships. For some reason, I imagined myself on a conveyor belt, with Jesus standing at the opposite end. I was slowly inching toward the edge of a mountain cliff. There were moments in my life where I felt like I was hanging on to a mere blade of grass for my dear life, desperately scrambling to pull myself back up. Then it happened. In my graduating year of highschool, for reasons I could not understand, my entire friend group talked behind my back and left me isolated and in the dark. My then best friend of 4 years replaced me and joined the gossip with everyone else. During my moment of confusion and devastation, my then relationship dumped me two weeks before prom. In the months of April, May, and June of 2023, my entire social life at school collapsed. I was severely depressed, had repetitive panic attacks, and hated going to school for the first time in my life. I coped with my hurt by distracting it with another hurt, but the cycle kept repeating, and every night I ended up crying myself to sleep. It was the loneliest time of my life, and it was the deepest hurt I’ve ever been through. My only source of socialization was house church and my family. House church was the only thing I looked for all week, and the only place where I felt the people around me truly cared for me and wanted to talk to me. To be a little bit dramatic, it might’ve been the only reason I’m even here today. Then I attended the adult retreat of 2023. During this retreat with pastor Doug, I felt so much peace and comfort from the presence of God. Through the message and worship, He gently reminded me how deep His love was for me, and when everyone else left, He was by my side, reaching His arms out in welcoming love, having never left me. I was never alone, I just never seeked Him. As Hebrews 13:5 says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Realizing this, I felt ultimate peace in my heart. Instead of hanging on at the edge of a cliff, I felt as if Jesus strongly held my grip and pulled me out from the conveyor belt and safely into a castle built on rock with a beautiful view. I broke down in tears and told Him that I no longer want to rely my security on earthly relationships, but a father-and-daughter relationship with Him. Not only through the retreat, Jesus slowly but surely healed my shattered heart and pieced it one by one through house church, my parents, my youth shepherds, and my current friends. As I drew nearer to Him and sought Him with a burning passion, I began noticing even the smallest ways He was working in my life. I remember praying during the retreat, “I just want friends, Lord.” A few days later, I saw somewhere, Matthew 6:33: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto you.” I listened, and focused on strengthening my relationship with Jesus. However, I still trembled at what university may bring and its own drama. But God started placing people in my life that showed me gentle love and true friendships. God sent me a Christian friend living in my same hometown, same dorm building, same floor with the biggest heart. We now live together in Guelph. He gave me the funniest yet most caring friend I’ve ever had. She was someone who made me laugh so hard everyday I think I grew abs, and at the same time brought me to much tears with the depth of her love for me. He sent me the most patient person ever to deal with my hot tempered, clumsy self, teaching me how love truly is meant to be. He also somehow allowed me to become the President of a Korean club and gave me a sense of cultural belonging in a place where Asians were a visible minority. At the start of the school year, the previous club president randomly asked if I was Korean. I awkwardly said yes, and that day he convinced me to take over his position. Through that club, I built precious relationships and learned how to lead in confidence in a group setting. There were a few other ways God worked in my life and answered my prayers. I somehow began to develope anxiety over my phone being too quiet. Whenever I checked my phone, and there were no notifications after an 8 hour shift, I felt very isolated. I thought this was the silliest concern, but still told God in one my prayers. A few weeks later, I was added to a group chat that contained all the incoming freshmen in my year. My phone never stayed silent after that. I didn’t know the almighty God cared about a little sadness over simple notifications. But He did, and I realized, not only is His character loving, but detailed and sensitive to His children’s wants and needs. When I was worried about my ride to prom for days, one of my friends texted me out of nowhere and asked if I needed a ride. I cried at work, looking at that message and gladly said yes. I thanked God for his provision when I felt too embarrassed to ask anyone. I was also extremely stressed about going to prom, it would be the most awkward thing ever, sitting at the table facing my ex, surrounded with friends that no longer wanted to be with me. But God came through again. One of my elementary school friend who went to a different highschool, came to our prom as a date for her friend. She stayed with me the entirety of prom, and we had fun catching up. When I was in my season of loneliness, somehow, someone either from church, school, or family friends randomly asked me to hangout every week. Other days, God kept me busy with work and the gym so I didn’t have time to dwell in sadness for too long. He kept me busy with a job and socialization so that my mental health would not crumble. This is just a glimpse of how I experienced God’s character. Even on top of these events, there were many more blessings and small miracles that occurred. I know that everything I went through in my last year of high school is not the hardest I will ever face. At just 20, I’m aware that there are still greater challenges ahead. But now I have Jesus confidence. No matter what I face, He’s always there for me, working in ways I couldn’t ever guess. My worries, stress, and anxiety cannot affect my emotions deeply anymore. With this assurance, I will continue walking with Him, doing my best to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. I want to also thank my pastors, Caleb & Anthony, and my youth shepherds, Joy, Emily, and Esther Byun for leading me with such love and kindness and showing me a reflection of God’s love. I pray that our Seed community can continue to encourage and lift others, focusing on bringing more people to Christ, so they may also experience the true joy, goodness, and unconditional love from an omnipotent Father. Thank you for listening.

Admin

August 10, 2025 • 6 Minute Read

NewGen Conference Testimony - Daniel Kim

Hi everyone! A few weeks ago, I attended the NewGen Shepherds Conference in LA, and it's my privilege to share about my experience there. How did I decide to attend? A few months ago, Pastor Anthony reached out to the previous Youth Shepherd Cohort and told us that we were all invited to attend. At first, I didn't REALLY know what I was getting myself into. I just knew that shepherds from other churches in North America would be attending, and that it was probably gonna be an opportunity to meet them, be encouraged by our similar ministry work, and learn more about house church. In true P fashion, I thought, "Sounds fun, might as well.” Looking back, I should’ve prayed about it more. First impressions Fast forward to a few weeks ago - I'm at the airport and the Mokmin gang assembles. We fly to LA, get to the campus, and the first thing I notice is how many people there are. I think there were about 300 people in attendance, which was way more people than I was expecting. The next thing I notice is that some of us are wearing retreat shirts and they're black, but the overwhelming majority of people are wearing white. I think to myself, "Hm that's strange. Maybe they made me a group leader or something." It turned out that everyone wearing a black shirt was either approaching post-secondary or was post-secondaryalready there, and the white shirts were young-ins. This made me think a lot of things. My first thought, obviously, was "I'm unc." I also thought, "Wow, there are so many young shepherds out there. Respect!" But I'm not gonna lie, a small, quite arrogant, part of me thought, "How much am I gonna get out of this?" After the sermon of the first night, we all broke out into small groups, and I found myself in group 12. As I expected, I was the oldest there. I was 7 years older than my small group leader. And I won't sugarcoat it, our first sharing was really awkward - it didn't help that we were all strangers, and it sort of felt like, even though I was trying to lighten up the mood and share deeply, our members weren't being very receptive. After the sharing, later that night, I thought to myself again, "I wonder how much I'll get out of NewGen" But God gave me a lot of things to be thankful for. Firstly, I believe that God really gave me the heart to surrender that doubt to Him. In the moment, I tried looking past the seemingly bad things and I tried acknowledging and appreciating the things I felt were really good. Looking back, I think it was a pretty immature and cringey thing to have to do, especially considering how good things actually were. The buffet pizza was so yum yum delicious that I had it every single meal. The praise team was so so so good and the praise was absolutely fire. And I really want to highlight how impactful the sermons were. Just before going to NewGen, I had attended our Members Retreat, and I felt that God was calling me to stop being so ashamed of my so-called "failures" in ministry, but instead count my blessings and do more, since I was made for more. And God really made this message clear to me through the sermons at NewGen. The messages reminded us that I, as well as everyone around me, am a child of God, a member of a spiritual family that is to love the members of that spiritual family, the same way I am loved by God. One particular sermon that I remember talked about how one sheep that wanders off from Jesus and the pack of 99 is so precious to Him, and how Jesus not only goes looking for that wandering sheep, but rejoices over finding it more than over the 99 that stayed put. In that moment, I really felt called by God to pour out my love for the people in my life that seem far from Him. I wanted to have a heart that rejoices when God's hearts does, and breaks when God's heart breaks. Also, as the conference went on, I felt my small group members opening up to each other more and more. Our sharing got deeper, we worked really hard together on a video that introduced our group to the other 19, and we all wrote nice messages in each other's farewell cards. Also, I'm really thankful to have spent more time with people who travelled to the conference with me. I had an extremely funny and memorable grocery shopping trip with Pastor Anthony, my amazing roommate for the conference. That trip ended in us carrying a huge pack of water bottles for what seemed in the moment like a thousand miles, but in all honesty, it was a really lovely time and it was so worth it in the end. I got a lot closer to our children shepherds like 나율이 and Laura and I had so much fun dancing to Gabriela and I Thank God. Somehow, they didn't find me too cringe. Or maybe they did and they just had to accept me for who I am. I also got to have really meaningful and wholesome conversations with Dohyeon, and every time we did, I remember admiring her more and more for the amazing woman of God that she is, and I remember feeling really lucky that I got to be there with her. All in all, even though I didn't initially know what the conference had to offer, and I had my doubts, God showed me that He, indeed, had many great things in store, and I'm really thankful that I got to go because I got closer to so many amazing people and I was able to experience God in incredible ways. Ultimately, I feel like God is giving me a clear instruction to continue experiencing His love so I can share it with those around me. After coming back from the conference, I feel a strong sense of urgency to spread that love to those in my YHC and adult house church, and I hope that, as I continue to do so, God will grow my heart to be more like His. Thank you for listening!

Admin

August 17, 2025 • 7 Minute Read

Members Retreat Testimony - Byoungwhee Sohn

Hello everyone, My name is Byoungwhee Sohn, and this is my testimony about what I felt and experienced at the Members Retreat, Joy. When I signed up for the retreat this summer, I was thinking about how the past retreats have been amazing and how each one has affected me in a different way, but I didn’t realize that this retreat would be much more impactful. If I were to put it to scale, the other retreats would hit me like a birdie hitting me in the head, and then this retreat would be like a volleyball being spiked into my chest. I’m not disrespecting the past retreats,They are each special in their own ways, I’m saying that this retreat had spoken to me personally on a whole new different level. On the second day of retreat after our 2nd service, we had a time of blessing prayer from Pastor Eric. So I wanted to sit down and receive what God wanted to say to me through Pastor Eric. When he came around, it was my turn to receive the prayer, he started praying for me, and suddenly, there was one word that stood out to me, SACRIFICE. In that moment when he said that word, It felt as though God was reminding me of all the sacrifices I have made. The things that I was reminded of, was my sacrifice for my career, and the possibilities of going further out into the world to find work, but I was instead called to stay here to commit to be a serving member in the praise team and later, deciding to become a youth shepherd for the next 3 years. This then spiraled me into thinking of what Pastor Eric had said in his previous sermons, about how I need to die to myself, to sacrifice my self, in order to grow and bear many fruits for the future of our church. If I hadn’t decided to commit to becoming a youth shepherd, and I had left to pursue my career, I guarantee you that I would not be standing here today sharing what God has done for me in this time of rest and reflection. I would like to share my prophetic message that one of our previous guest speakers, Pastor Doug, has spoken to me during the members retreat in 2023. I will give a shortened summary of what he said. There is this river of God, it’s calm, and its flowing like a lazy river. Many people were in it, they were praising, dancing and laughing, you can visibly see that people are having an amazing time in this river, but I was just standing right on the edge of this river simply watching. He told me that I wasn’t against it, that I was interested in what I saw, but I just wasn’t in the river. Then there was God in the river with his hand out reaching to me inviting me asking, “will you join me?” But, the thing about this river is, I cannot simply wade through it bit by bit, I have to jump into the river At the time it didn't really have a lot of meaning to me, and I was a little confused as to what he was talking about. Was his vision saying I’m not a christian? Am I not doing enough to be more christian, or to be with God? I was reflecting on this for a while and I tried to understand the meaning of his vision for me, if what he said would come true, and that I would feel this moment of God inviting me to trust him and that I may give my life to him. But that moment never came, and I had put it away to never be opened again since, Until the Joy retreat. After hearing pastor Eric's blessing prayer, I was instantly reminded of this prophetic message after 2 years, and in this moment I felt that God was honoring my heart, and that he was reaching his hand out to me. I felt this wave of encouragement, love, and I had felt God’s grace in that room. I had also volunteered at the RK retreat the week after the members' retreat and I didn’t really know what I got myself into, or what to expect. During the children’s ministry meeting before the retreat I was asking myself, why am I doing this to myself? Why did God tell me to serve in this different, stressful, uncomfortable environment? After the sermon on the second day, it was prayer time for the kids, and Pastor Anthony had asked all the staff and volunteers to pray for the kids sitting around. So I went to a child and asked if I could pray for them and they agreed. I started praying for them and as I kept praying halfway through, tears started falling. I was like, what the heck? Why am I crying? I’m the type of person who will get emotional when someone else does an action or says something that would be touching or moving emotionally. Like for example, how in the Lord of the Rings when the character Boromir fights off the Urak-hai and then sacrifices his life to save the Hobbits, that kind of thing moves me emotionally. But here I am, crying to MYSELF even though I’m the one thinking and saying this prayer to this child, like how am I MOVING myself? So I had to finish the prayer and I got up and went to the back of the room to wipe away my tears, and just breathe,and then it hit me. I didn’t move myself. It was God who moved me, he was blessing me with these words, not only for the child that I was praying for, but for me, his other child. To go back to the members retreat, I was challenged by Pastor Eric through his message, where he talked a lot about how we should be more inclined to outreach to more VIP’s. After hearing his words, I personally felt very convicted, I felt as though I was being called out for not doing my part in serving the mission of our church. For the past few years I’ve always tried thinking of inviting some of my friends to church and or House Church, but I always make an excuse in my mind, saying that they aren't suited for the “church environment". I think this is a bad mentality to have when thinking of which VIP’s to bring to church. I think we have built up this standard of who to bring to church. I felt that there is this stillness of seeing the same people every week at church and at house church, and I am guilty of this feeling of complacency,where I say to myself, I’m okay with this. I’m sure a few of you may also feel this way as well. God has given us a mission, to bring more people, more VIP’s into the church, a place to feel belonged. Pastor Eric is right when he said this to our congregation, we are truely blessed at what we have here at The Seed, and that we should share this community with others. He said this at the retreat that moved me; Invite people till the ends of the earth. I would like to challenge you all, to think about a VIP in your life, they can be anyone that you know of that you think should hear the word of God. Even if you say to yourself,” nahh, they don’t seem like they will fit into the “church environment". I want to remind you that the ends of the earth do not stop right before that one person. So I encourage you all to think about God’s VIP’s and invite them to hear your testimonies. I thank god for all the blessings and the opportunities he has given me to sacrifice my life for the fruit of this church. I now feel as though I took a leap of faith into that river. Thank you for listening.

Admin

July 28, 2024 • 7 Minute Read

New Life (4) Testimony - Jeesu Sohn

Hi everyone!I am up here today to share with you how God has transformed my life in the past few months as I was taking New Life Bible Study. I need to begin by saying that throughout my transformation, I committed to a few small things: one of significance today being that I would share specifically so that my life can be a living testimony to God’s goodness. I am very grateful for this opportunity to share publicly just how good God is–because I am not here to talk about MY life; but rather, what God has done to save my life. I grew up in the church. I prayed, I sang songs about Jesus, I took Bible studies, and in my arrogance, I thought I knew all there was to know about God. When I left home five years ago, I not only left behind family and friends, but I left God behind, too. It wasn’t that I stopped believing in God or was hurt by the church–I simply discovered so many other things out there that seemed more attractive than a God. I’d rather spend my time chasing after money, popularity, titles, possessions, and quick pleasures. I lived in constant fear that if one of these things were taken away, I would be worth nothing. I led a life chasing earthly and bodily pleasures that may have seemed glamourous, but I lived in fear, jealousy, resentment, and vanity, and God was soon nowhere to be found in my life, but a distant memory. One year ago, I returned home, completely broken. I had just ended a long term relationship, I was frightened about my future, and all those things I had put my trust in had let me down in the end. Though I was attending church and house church, I knew I was just going through the motions. I was afraid of God and what He would think of me and my sinful past, especially as someone who grew up in the church and should have known better. I was consumed by guilt and shame. I didn’t even think I was worthy of God anymore and my shame kept me far away from God. But I knew there was something broken within me that I could not fix myself. Early on this year, as I remembered how good God was to me during my youth, I signed up for Daniel Fast with a prayer request of finding God again. I had not expected anything of it, but to my surprise, God revealed Himself to me. He told me that I am called ‘clean’ because of Christ and that I should expect ‘good things to come’. I had never in my life heard God’s voice so clearly. I was overwhelmed by such a good God, a God who reaches out across the void, a God who was so forgiving, that it made me want more–which is why I signed up for New Life. New Life Bible Study was the perfect thing for me in this season. I had taken this course before, maybe 10 years ago, but this time around was especially impactful, because I was desperate to know God more. New Life teaches small, practical ways to live FOR and WITHIN God, every day. The most valuable thing I take away is the Listening Room and Quiet Time. The Listening Room is a consistent time and place where you go to talk to God every day. Quiet Time is an exercise of our own intellect and illumination from the Holy Spirit applied to the Bible. Previously, I had taken both of these things for granted. I thought I knew everything there was to know about the Bible; and prayer was just making requests to God when things weren’t going my way. But as my life began to run parallel to the teachings in New Life (it’s kind of crazy how God caters to our individual learning styles), I discovered a fundamental truth. Towards the end of New Life, as I was beginning to gain confidence in my own faith, I began to feel the same shame of the past creep back in. A small voice kept telling me: “How can you call yourself a servant of God with your sinful past? How can you think God will use you when you have failed so much?” I struggled with this for many weeks. I didn’t know who the voice belonged to. But thanks to New Life, I knew this was a test of faith, and I was determined to find the truth, and the truth, I knew now, was in the Scripture. Previously, when I’d face a challenge, I would default to troubleshooting mode. “I” had to fix it. “I” had to “DO” something. It was all about “ME” and my “ABILITIES”. And in my frenzy, I would often make hasty and wrong decisions. But for the first time, in order to face my struggle, I turned to the Bible and visited the Listening Room–which was a daily walk around the neighbourhood. I asked God, over and over again, “Please let me hear your voice. Tell me what to do. I do not want to go where YOU are not there.” I have to admit, I could not hear God at that time. The voice that told me I am my failures was growing louder. But the verses I was reading for QT kept pointing towards the same thing: “Rejoice”. Rejoice in God. I wanted to know what that meant. I remember being at the Adults Retreat, still praying for God to speak to me. I thought a lot about “rejoicing in the Lord”, which was a verse given to me the previous night. That day, a friend (who had no idea what I had been going through) pulled me aside. She said that God wanted her to tell me: “God is pleased with you.” In that moment, my head flooded with memories of reading the Bible and going on my Listening Room walks for the past few weeks. Instantly, I realized that that it wasn’t my successes or things I wanted to “do” for God that God was pleased with, that in the end, what God had really been looking at was my heart. It was my heart and desire to know Him more, to seek him in the Bible and in prayer, that pleased Him. And finally understanding this gave me such clarity, direction, and peace. I knew exactly what I must do now, and it was so simple! All I am to do is to continue to seek God in all the ways I can, and He is going to do the rest for me. God is so good, He is alive, and He is fighting my battles! It is because of God’s goodness that I can stand here and say that I have been transformed. I truly rejoice in Him because I have experienced that goodness. God sees past my sins and my shame, He sees much deeper than that. He rescued me before I even knew I needed rescuing. He forgave me first; He always answers when I ask to hear His voice. Nothing can take away this joy and peace that I’ve found in God, and I am for the first time in my life, excited to share about everything He has done for me. I am a new life through God. I know now that God is constantly wanting to speak with me. I love going to my Listening Room and always excited to see what other truths the Scripture holds. And even though my prayers may not be answered right away, I know God has already won this battle and the next.

Admin

August 18, 2024 • 5 Minute Read

Confirmation Testimony — Lisa Ahn

Hello everyone, my name is Lisa, and I’d like to share my spiritual journey and the path that led me to confirmation. Like many of us here, I was born into a Christian family and have been attending church from a young age. For much of my life, attending Sunday services was simply another task to check off my to-do list. In the early years, I didn’t question much about God, as I would often forget the pastor's sermons and continue with my day. The only message that stuck with me was, “Keep praying God hears and watches over everything.” As I grew older, God became less central in my life, and attending church became challenging because we moved a lot. Eventually, my family settled at a church, where we stayed for about four to five years. During this time, I felt that my relationship with God was growing, and so I became involved in the leadership and praise teams, wanting to contribute to the ministry. But as time passed, I no longer felt God’s presence. I felt disconnected from my friends, and God seemed distant. It was then that I realized the problem wasn’t that God had left me; rather, I had become prideful in my roles and relationships. I believe that this was why God led me to The Seed, a community where I could depend on the right people and grow in the way God wanted. In Genesis, God tells Adam, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” This is the first time God explicitly says something is “not good.” We were created to depend on God—for the Gospel, for wisdom, and for companionship. I had always depended on others, but not the right people at the right time. However, this time God sent me to The Seed and my house church members, allowing me to engage in a deeper relationship with him. The Seed accepted me for who I was, even though I wasn’t anyone’s VIP and had come from another church. Despite the warm welcome, I initially doubted whether I could restore my relationship with God and find my place at The Seed. I was scared and hesitant to reveal my shallow commitment and relationship with God. In these times, my youth house church helped me a lot. For those of you who don’t know, I was in Seoyeon unnie HC for a little bit more than a year, and it was my first experience of a house church. Seoyeon unnie, Erin, Sarin, Isabella, and Jeansolle were my members. Being in her house church truly made my time at the Seed a lot better, as settling into a new church can be difficult. They would always reach out to me and I’ve always waited for our home gathering so that I could chat and connect with my members. One moment that brought me closer to my house church members and Seoyeon unnie was during the youth retreat. I spoke with Seoyeon Unnie on the second night about my life and how difficult it was for me to be myself. She listened, prayed for me, and encouraged me to engage more in church activities. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful and supportive youth shepherd and members. Now, I’m in the Chiang Rai HC with several members, and I’ve never felt so supported, welcomed, and babied by everyone. Nowadays, I look forward to our house church every Friday, including Jenn’s delicious dinners! Despite all of the wonderful events that happened to me, It wasn’t until this year that I fully surrendered myself to God, and this happened when I took Starting Point. At that time, I was struggling with relationship issues with my friends. It was a challenging period because I had trusted them deeply and was hurt more than I expected. Entering Starting Point with these emotions led me to question God, asking, “Why me?” However, I do not regret taking Starting Point, as I am certain that God was providing me with the answers I needed—to forgive, to move on because God has something greater planned for me. After completing Starting Point and speaking with my former youth shepherd, Seoyeon Unnie, who had been encouraging me to take GPS for months, I finally signed up. During GPS, a verse that resonated with me was Revelation 3:20, which states: “See! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” This verse made a deep impression on me because it reminded me that Jesus is always there, waiting for me. He knows all my scars and faults, yet He never leaves me alone. Now, I understand that I don’t have to face challenges on my own—all I need to do is open my heart to Jesus. After GPS and receiving Christ, I haven’t experienced any dramatic changes in my life. However, I now live with the mindset that God is with me and with those I care about, so there is nothing to fear. I may never feel like I’m enough for The Seed or anyone in my life, but I will try my best to serve, not out of obligation or to return the favor, but because it was what I was told to do as a follower of Christ. Thank you to everyone at the Seed, including Pastor Caleb, Pastor Anthony, my house church, and most of all, my own family, for your unwavering support in getting me to reach this point in my journey.

Admin

January 5, 2025 • 5 Minute Read

Growing Life Testimony - Esther Ahn

Hi everyone. My name is Esther and I’ll be sharing my experience taking Growing life with my lovely shepherd Joy. For 7 weeks, I met one on one with Joy to go through the keys to spiritual growth. Before I decided to take up Growing life, I was in an undesirable situation where I had to work more in order to raise money for my school tuition. For those who may not know, I work at a bakery called Cinnabon. I was really not looking forward to working there more, as I dreaded the long late hours. I felt discouraged about where I was in my life and even shared with my house church that I thought I was going to be depressed. That’s when I committed to having consistent QT with God. I began to experience peace and joy despite my circumstances and realized this was a crucial time to root myself in God, so I reached out to Joy. Throughout Growing Life, I learned many things, like being part of the body of Christ and the different aspects of salvation, and simply spending time with Joy felt very blessed. There were several instances where I saw answered prayer and the impact of of application of what we learned in our lives, But what impacted me most was the focus on VIPs (those who don’t know Christ) in my life and the indwelling Christ who lives in me. When I thought about my VIPS, I realized most of them were my co-workers, I began to see each person there as someone God longs to have a relationship with and my desire for them to know their Heavenly Father grew very strong. I started to pray for my VIPS, and for Christ to dwell in me. I started seizing opportunities to talk about faith and salvation, sharing my testimony of how God freed from me from depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. I was having deeper conversations with my co-worker’s on their relationship with God, even with visiting managers of other stores. This was kinda crazy to me because I used to fear being seen as pushy or too Christian. But that fear was replaced with a desire to share what God had done in my life and His longing for all to be saved. The next week I met Joy and I told her, “I don’t know what came over me, but this week I was so bold about sharing my faith” she told me “Esther, I believe that was the Holy Spirit within you”. It wasn’t by my strength but through being filled with the Spirit that I could witness to unbelievers. Now when I look at my workplace, I don’t just see it as a depressing place where I just make money, but an opportunity and place to make Christ known. Last Monday, while I was working at Cinnabon, we suddenly saw people running out of the mall, telling us to get down and hide. Stores around us started closing, so we turned off our lights, locked the door and hid crouched down in the backroom. None knew what was happening and some were convinced there was a shooter in the mall. The crew working that day consisted of 4 girls, me being the oldest and in charge, and the youngest were in high school. They were scared, crying, trying to call their parents and 911. I stayed calm, kept watch on the door, and reassured them everything would be okay. Earlier that day, I had given the girls a story time about a relational situation I prayed about and how God answered my prayer. While hiding in the backroom, one of the girls asked me “Esther, can you pray for us?” So, out loud, I whispered a prayer asking God to protect us and for everything to be okay. Strangely, I was very calm and collected the entire time. Eventually, someone came and knocked on the door to let us know it was safe. We later learned there had been a robbery involving people with sledge hammers and axes. Though shaken, we were all fine. The co-worker who had asked me to pray said “Esther, thank you for praying for us—you prayer worked!” She later even half-joked about going back to church and expressed her awe in how I was so calm. I realized that my personal story earlier had given them a belief, even if it was just for a short time, that the God I prayed to might be real and present in that moment. I want to end on the verse we read in growing life that really challenged me to be a witness:(Matthew 28:19-20) “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” I believe God has called me to witness to the unbelievers in my life. This year I want to pray for boldness, to receive the Holy Spirit, so that, as I witness, others will see Christ in my words, my life, and my actions, and they will feel the undeniable impact of His presence in me. Sometimes I worry, “What in my life would be important to an unbeliever?” and maybe you’ve felt this concern too. But I want to remind you and myself that as believers, we have already passed from death to life, and Christ’s Spirit already lives in us, ready to fill us whenever we ask. A quote in the book we read says “A witness is one who gives evidence, and you have so much to give evidence about because Christ is living through you. I want to thank Joy who led me, guided me, and prayed for me throughout those 7 weeks and thank God for His unending faithfulness and constant presence. Thank you for listening.

Admin