Hi everyone! A few weeks ago, I attended the NewGen Shepherds Conference in LA, and it's my privilege to share about my experience there.
How did I decide to attend?
A few months ago, Pastor Anthony reached out to the previous Youth Shepherd Cohort and told us that we were all invited to attend. At first, I didn't REALLY know what I was getting myself into. I just knew that shepherds from other churches in North America would be attending, and that it was probably gonna be an opportunity to meet them, be encouraged by our similar ministry work, and learn more about house church. In true P fashion, I thought, "Sounds fun, might as well.” Looking back, I should’ve prayed about it more.
First impressions
Fast forward to a few weeks ago - I'm at the airport and the Mokmin gang assembles. We fly to LA, get to the campus, and the first thing I notice is how many people there are. I think there were about 300 people in attendance, which was way more people than I was expecting. The next thing I notice is that some of us are wearing retreat shirts and they're black, but the overwhelming majority of people are wearing white. I think to myself, "Hm that's strange. Maybe they made me a group leader or something." It turned out that everyone wearing a black shirt was either approaching post-secondary or was post-secondaryalready there, and the white shirts were young-ins. This made me think a lot of things. My first thought, obviously, was "I'm unc." I also thought, "Wow, there are so many young shepherds out there. Respect!" But I'm not gonna lie, a small, quite arrogant, part of me thought, "How much am I gonna get out of this?"
After the sermon of the first night, we all broke out into small groups, and I found myself in group 12. As I expected, I was the oldest there. I was 7 years older than my small group leader. And I won't sugarcoat it, our first sharing was really awkward - it didn't help that we were all strangers, and it sort of felt like, even though I was trying to lighten up the mood and share deeply, our members weren't being very receptive. After the sharing, later that night, I thought to myself again, "I wonder how much I'll get out of NewGen"
But God gave me a lot of things to be thankful for.
Firstly, I believe that God really gave me the heart to surrender that doubt to Him. In the moment, I tried looking past the seemingly bad things and I tried acknowledging and appreciating the things I felt were really good. Looking back, I think it was a pretty immature and cringey thing to have to do, especially considering how good things actually were. The buffet pizza was so yum yum delicious that I had it every single meal. The praise team was so so so good and the praise was absolutely fire.
And I really want to highlight how impactful the sermons were. Just before going to NewGen, I had attended our Members Retreat, and I felt that God was calling me to stop being so ashamed of my so-called "failures" in ministry, but instead count my blessings and do more, since I was made for more. And God really made this message clear to me through the sermons at NewGen. The messages reminded us that I, as well as everyone around me, am a child of God, a member of a spiritual family that is to love the members of that spiritual family, the same way I am loved by God. One particular sermon that I remember talked about how one sheep that wanders off from Jesus and the pack of 99 is so precious to Him, and how Jesus not only goes looking for that wandering sheep, but rejoices over finding it more than over the 99 that stayed put. In that moment, I really felt called by God to pour out my love for the people in my life that seem far from Him. I wanted to have a heart that rejoices when God's hearts does, and breaks when God's heart breaks.
Also, as the conference went on, I felt my small group members opening up to each other more and more. Our sharing got deeper, we worked really hard together on a video that introduced our group to the other 19, and we all wrote nice messages in each other's farewell cards.
Also, I'm really thankful to have spent more time with people who travelled to the conference with me. I had an extremely funny and memorable grocery shopping trip with Pastor Anthony, my amazing roommate for the conference. That trip ended in us carrying a huge pack of water bottles for what seemed in the moment like a thousand miles, but in all honesty, it was a really lovely time and it was so worth it in the end. I got a lot closer to our children shepherds like 나율이 and Laura and I had so much fun dancing to Gabriela and I Thank God. Somehow, they didn't find me too cringe. Or maybe they did and they just had to accept me for who I am. I also got to have really meaningful and wholesome conversations with Dohyeon, and every time we did, I remember admiring her more and more for the amazing woman of God that she is, and I remember feeling really lucky that I got to be there with her.
All in all, even though I didn't initially know what the conference had to offer, and I had my doubts, God showed me that He, indeed, had many great things in store, and I'm really thankful that I got to go because I got closer to so many amazing people and I was able to experience God in incredible ways. Ultimately, I feel like God is giving me a clear instruction to continue experiencing His love so I can share it with those around me. After coming back from the conference, I feel a strong sense of urgency to spread that love to those in my YHC and adult house church, and I hope that, as I continue to do so, God will grow my heart to be more like His.
Thank you for listening!




