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480. Benefit of Weaknesses
I came back last Sunday after preaching at Unity Baptist Church in Nashville. I usually preach on the theme "Abundant Life", and it has four sessions: Happiness, Identity, Purpose and Future. Interestingly, after the second session, when I preach about "Identity," which is based on our weaknesses, not strengths, people often come to me to share how they connected with my message and my weaknesses. In the session, I shared about my weaknesses, mainly my introverted personality and my speech. It seems to confirm what one leader said: "People will admire you for your strengths but connect with your weaknesses." We think of weaknesses as defects. But if we embrace them as "part" of our identity, not only do we feel authentic, but God also uses that to encourage people and connect with them. So, at one point, I began to be intentionally open about what I see as my weakness. What I shared recently was about my desire for good things (namely Apple products and Lululemon, which some people consider excessive spending), mainly because they bring "me" great joy while using them. Thankfully, many of my members appreciate that I share it openly. (I think) I used to try to be more frugal. I thought, "Why am I not as frugal as other pastors who seem to get by with very little?" I budget, and I try to manage our household finances based on biblical and sound financial principles. But I struggle to find satisfaction in using things I don't love. Some people are happy with any smartphone or computer, as long as it works. Not me. Some people are very happy with cheap, functional clothes. Not me. (By the way, not all my clothes are Lululemon!) I genuinely struggled, but I eventually embraced this as part of me. Because I sensed that God doesn't judge me for it, and He seems to joyfully satisfy me with the good things I desire, which matches what He promises. (Psalms 103:5) It doesn't mean that I now mindlessly spend money on them, but I stopped condemning myself for not being as frugal as others. Thankfully, the Bible emphasizes more about "generosity" than "frugality", which is what I try to focus on instead. In Exodus, there were two miracles in God’s provision. The first miracle was "Manna", bread God sent from heaven. The second miracle was that those who gathered a lot (because of their great appetite) had no leftovers, and those who gathered a little (those who don't eat a lot) had no deficit. (Exo 16:16-18) They all amounted to the same amount God prescribed for their collection: one "Omer" (about 2.2 L). God can satisfy both those who need a lot and those who don't. We think our weaknesses will drive away people. But they actually attract them. Only our weaknesses that are "found out" do. That said, don't compare your strength with someone else's weakness. That leads to pride. What matters is whether we receive whatever amount of God's provision with "contentment", not "comparison".
October 15, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
480. Benefit of Weaknesses
I came back last Sunday after preaching at Unity Baptist Church in Nashville. I usually preach on the theme "Abundant Life", and it has four sessions: Happiness, Identity, Purpose and Future. Interestingly, after the second session, when I preach about "Identity," which is based on our weaknesses, not strengths, people often come to me to share how they connected with my message and my weaknesses. In the session, I shared about my weaknesses, mainly my introverted personality and my speech. It seems to confirm what one leader said: "People will admire you for your strengths but connect with your weaknesses." We think of weaknesses as defects. But if we embrace them as "part" of our identity, not only do we feel authentic, but God also uses that to encourage people and connect with them. So, at one point, I began to be intentionally open about what I see as my weakness. What I shared recently was about my desire for good things (namely Apple products and Lululemon, which some people consider excessive spending), mainly because they bring "me" great joy while using them. Thankfully, many of my members appreciate that I share it openly. (I think) I used to try to be more frugal. I thought, "Why am I not as frugal as other pastors who seem to get by with very little?" I budget, and I try to manage our household finances based on biblical and sound financial principles. But I struggle to find satisfaction in using things I don't love. Some people are happy with any smartphone or computer, as long as it works. Not me. Some people are very happy with cheap, functional clothes. Not me. (By the way, not all my clothes are Lululemon!) I genuinely struggled, but I eventually embraced this as part of me. Because I sensed that God doesn't judge me for it, and He seems to joyfully satisfy me with the good things I desire, which matches what He promises. (Psalms 103:5) It doesn't mean that I now mindlessly spend money on them, but I stopped condemning myself for not being as frugal as others. Thankfully, the Bible emphasizes more about "generosity" than "frugality", which is what I try to focus on instead. In Exodus, there were two miracles in God’s provision. The first miracle was "Manna", bread God sent from heaven. The second miracle was that those who gathered a lot (because of their great appetite) had no leftovers, and those who gathered a little (those who don't eat a lot) had no deficit. (Exo 16:16-18) They all amounted to the same amount God prescribed for their collection: one "Omer" (about 2.2 L). God can satisfy both those who need a lot and those who don't. We think our weaknesses will drive away people. But they actually attract them. Only our weaknesses that are "found out" do. That said, don't compare your strength with someone else's weakness. That leads to pride. What matters is whether we receive whatever amount of God's provision with "contentment", not "comparison".
October 8, 2026 • 4 Minute Read
479. Only This Far
This post is a translation of Pastor Lee's post from SBC's website, written on 9.27. 2026. We use certain words and ways of thinking without much thought, yet they quietly diminish the potential of our spiritual lives. One of them, I believe, is the expression many Koreans often use: ‘Only this far.’ (여기까지) Some people say that this phrase accurately describes the faith of many Korean Christians today. For example, when they are asked to serve in a ministry, they set a limit for themselves and say, ‘This is as far as I can go.’ Even those who are serving as Shepherds and Shepherd’s wives sometimes draw an invisible line in their hearts and decide, ‘This is as much as I’m willing to do.’ As I heard people describe this tendency, I could not help but ask myself, “Are we any different?” As I reflected, I realized how such thinking can hinder not only the capacity God has given us but also the work He desires to accomplish through us. One lesson I have learned through ministry is that God has given us far greater capacity than we realize. Human capacity can keep growing as long as we are willing to stretch it. Someone who struggles to care for one person today may continue responding to the challenges God places before them and eventually find themselves caring for two hundred people. Mother Teresa is a good example. When my wife lived in Korea, she would become completely exhausted after preparing a meal for ten guests. Sometimes she would even get sick afterward. But while serving in a singles house church, there were times when she prepared meals for as many as forty people, attended early morning prayer the next day, and later, when our third worship service first began, she regularly helped feed 120 young adults after worship. Today, because of her severe vision loss, she can no longer do those things, but she has become someone who is no longer intimidated by large numbers of guests. God expanded her capacity far beyond what she once thought possible. The same principle applies to intellectual abilities such as memory, learning, and understanding. Human capacity grows as it is stretched. We can be used far beyond what we believe our limits are. In fact, I believe this is part of what Jesus intended to teach through the Parable of the Talents. The servant who buried what he was entrusted with and returned it unchanged was called a wicked and lazy servant. In the same way, if we keep standing before opportunities for ministry and saying, “Only this far,” drawing our own boundaries, I believe we will one day hear a similar rebuke from our Lord. This mindset not only limits our own capacity; it also limits what God can do in and through us. Peter was the only disciple who stepped out of the boat. Even if he walked on water for only a few steps, he experienced something the others never did. Had he stayed in the boat, he would not have experienced a miracle. When we step beyond our comfort zone and take a risk in faith, God works, and we get to witness His work firsthand. When circumstances seem impossible, and we choose to tithe anyway, we discover God’s surprising provision. When life seems too busy and overwhelming to become a Shepherd, yet we commit ourselves to that ministry, we encounter God’s work in our lives. When we are sick, the natural response is to visit a doctor, but sometimes, when we step forward and ask for prayer, we experience God’s healing power in a fresh way. If we act only according to what seems reasonable and safe, we leave little room for God to demonstrate His power. It is when we step beyond what appears sensible and take a step of faith that we often experience God at work. But if we keep saying, “Only this far,” we will inevitably place limits on what God desires to do. Therefore, whenever the words “Only this far” begin to come out of your mouth, stop yourself. Instead, say, “If God desires it, I am willing to go the extra mile.” As you do, may God expand your capacity and enlarge your territory, and may you experience His wonderful work in your life.
October 2, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
478. Under Authority
These days, it's easy to find people who don't want to work for anyone. They want to be their own boss because they hate being told what to do. It is natural for humans to want independence, but if we are not careful, we might end up with no authority above us. It happens a lot as we get older, but it can also happen to young people once they reach adulthood because they now have a choice. But having no authority above us is not only impossible but dangerous. I heard someone say the most dangerous person is someone with no one above him. Some people might reach the top of the corporate ladder and have no official boss. But being under authority isn't just about having someone to report to; it's about seeking their counsel. That is why wise CEOs seek counsel and look for mentors with more experience than they do. Many people like the idea of humility but hate being under authority. But the best way to keep ourselves from becoming proud is to submit to someone ahead of us. I have Pastor Kwack as my authority, and I submit under his leadership. I submit to a leadership team on big ministry decisions (though we also submit to each other) and seek their counsel. I have many pastors in the house church network who have no official title above me, but I also submit to their authority because of the ministry journey they took ahead of me. I ask them questions before launching something big. The most tangible way to measure our humility is to ask this simple question: Do I have leaders whose advice I seek before making a big decision? If we don't, we might be spiritually in a dangerous place. I’m not talking about leaders or influencers we follow on Instagram, authors of books we read, or podcast hosts we listen to. I’m talking about real people around us who are ahead of us (other than our parents). When no one is involved in the important decisions of our lives, we might have people with titles of leaders, but we are not under real leadership. Under the right authority, we will always recognize what we lack and seek help. If we have one, we will appreciate feedback and be thankful for it. If we don’t, we will be offended when truth is spoken over us, because we won't see the need for it. We always have to be under someone. Some might say, “I’m under God’s authority!" That is a clear example of loophole-Christianity. Even the Son of God submitted to the Father God. It's a spiritual-sounding way of saying they don't like being under authority and want to stay proud.
September 24, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
477. How I Use AI
During the HC pastors' conference, as we ate breakfast, one of the pastors brought up the issue of "AI-generated worship songs" playing in some churches. So the discussion began, focused on "how much is too much." It was an interesting but also thought-provoking conversation. AI is the hottest topic wherever we go, and no one can doubt how prevalent it is these days. Even many seniors who are not tech-savvy regularly use and rely on AI. Many church members also use AI to get faith-related advice. So it is not hard to guess that many people are also curious about how pastors use AI and "how much." I can't speak for other pastors, so I will be transparent about how I use it. The first time I used AI extensively wasn't for my work, but for travel planning during my Japan Trip in 2024. I realized how much time it saved, as it gave me popular routes instantly without me having to compare different reviews and social media content. Then I thought about how I could use it more in my ministry. I tested it by asking it to give me exegesis of a certain passage to see if it says anything weird, but surprisingly, its output was pretty sound. So I started incorporating it into my sermon research for more modern implications. But AI is "one" of the resources I use. I usually study 3 commentaries, so it became my 4th resource. These days, I am trying to use it more to search my own work. I have my past sermons, blog posts, and new ideas all in a deposit of text files. The amount is quite large, and searching them manually has limitations. Now, I can ask AI to search my past work for a specific theme or words and use it to build a starting block for a related talk or message (usually for guest preaching). I find it useful because it can dig through my own work and synthesize a new creative direction. AI is also very handy for grammar checks. As English is not my first language, I try to make sure my main points are grammatically error-free. Sometimes they can be too wordy, unclear or potentially misleading, so I ask AI for correct expressions. But I do not ask AI to generate my main point. Whether AI is a net positive is hotly debated, even among experts. I am also in the middle of researching and experimenting. Meanwhile, what I can do now, at least, is maintain my "agency", not allowing it to "do" my work but to "assist" me. One thing I am sure of is that preserving our own agency will remain the greatest challenge when it comes to AI usage.
September 18, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
476. Parents Conference is now Parents Connect
During the early years of launching youth house church there were changes that needed to happen before it could be implemented effectively. One of those changes was partnership with parents. Parents conference was created out of a necessity to fill the gap and bring parents and youth shepherds to work together towards the same goal—youth house church. I have witnessed the culture shift over these ten years. Parents are fully onboard with home gathering and actively communicate with the youth shepherds to coordinate and rotate homes. So now, the emphasis has shifted from “bringing parents onboard” to “continuing to build and maintain good ministry relationships with parents.” Hence, starting this year the youth ministry team felt it appropriate to rename parents conference to parents connect. Back then “conference” was definitely the right word. However, with the current stage of ministry partnership we are in, conference feels too heavy and distant. “Connect” communicates more of what we are trying to achieve in that session and our current relationship with our youth parents. Although much of the structure remains the same, there is an additional emphasis to discuss with parents how they can practically help youth house church through home gathering. By strategizing together, I believe we can come up with greater ways to support each other and the mission of Jesus at our church. The reason I am sharing is simply this—God has been faithful. I’m so grateful for how God has taken the small step the youth ministry team took towards parents partnership and grew it abundantly. I believe we are now at the next level of partnership in our church culture. Connecting once a year isn’t much, but when done over 10 years, it can completely shift the culture and dynamic of a ministry. Witnessing it with my own eyes builds my faith that God can take our small initiatives of obedience and faith and turn it into something amazing. It just takes a bit of time.
September 10, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
475. My Family Update
It's been almost a month since I wrote my last blog post, so I'd like to share some updates about my family. We visited my aunt and uncle in Indonesia last month. They got to see my kids for the first time, and we spent a good amount of time together. They've been serving as missionaries for a long time, but I heard their ministry stories for the first time. Hearing their ministry fruit, hurt, and challenges helped me to get to know them better and pray more specifically. God gave them favour through a businessman who owns the mountain, who helped them build a nice house on top of a mountain. So our stay was very comfortable, and we enjoyed the nice view. Our time in Bali was great. August is hurricane season in Mexico, but it is the driest season in Bali, so we enjoyed continuous sunlight throughout our stay. Our kids liked Indonesian food (though limited to a few options), so we had a good time eating and resting. On our way back home, we had a 24-hour layover in Taipei (Taiwan). So we ventured out to stroll around Taipei 101, which is famously known for pro climber Alex Honnold climbing it without any safety gear. It was very urban and felt like we were in Korea. A bunch of us caught some colds during this time. After arriving home, we had a rough week battling jet lag and cold symptoms. But thankfully we are pretty much recovered now. We bought a used 2011 Honda Pilot in 2014. For the last 12 years, it served our family well, and we also used it extensively for ministry. (It was a non-official church van) But it had been acting up lately, and all the tires (including snow tires) were due for a change. Given its age and upcoming large expenses, we concluded it was time for a new car. We still need a 7-seater and cargo space for ministry, so we decided to buy another Pilot. We signed the deal on Wednesday (I'm writing this post on Thursday) and will pick it up on Saturday. The most exciting part for me is finally having Apple CarPlay and a power tailgate. Every time I go on a family vacation, I'm reminded that family is a wonderful gift from God. Just being present with my family gave me a great sense of joy and fulfillment. I reflected that this is why God wants to create a spiritual "family" through his church, because it is his heart: To dwell among his people forever. (Rev 21:3)
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October 15, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
480. Benefit of Weaknesses
I came back last Sunday after preaching at Unity Baptist Church in Nashville. I usually preach on the theme "Abundant Life", and it has four sessions: Happiness, Identity, Purpose and Future. Interestingly, after the second session, when I preach about "Identity," which is based on our weaknesses, not strengths, people often come to me to share how they connected with my message and my weaknesses. In the session, I shared about my weaknesses, mainly my introverted personality and my speech. It seems to confirm what one leader said: "People will admire you for your strengths but connect with your weaknesses." We think of weaknesses as defects. But if we embrace them as "part" of our identity, not only do we feel authentic, but God also uses that to encourage people and connect with them. So, at one point, I began to be intentionally open about what I see as my weakness. What I shared recently was about my desire for good things (namely Apple products and Lululemon, which some people consider excessive spending), mainly because they bring "me" great joy while using them. Thankfully, many of my members appreciate that I share it openly. (I think) I used to try to be more frugal. I thought, "Why am I not as frugal as other pastors who seem to get by with very little?" I budget, and I try to manage our household finances based on biblical and sound financial principles. But I struggle to find satisfaction in using things I don't love. Some people are happy with any smartphone or computer, as long as it works. Not me. Some people are very happy with cheap, functional clothes. Not me. (By the way, not all my clothes are Lululemon!) I genuinely struggled, but I eventually embraced this as part of me. Because I sensed that God doesn't judge me for it, and He seems to joyfully satisfy me with the good things I desire, which matches what He promises. (Psalms 103:5) It doesn't mean that I now mindlessly spend money on them, but I stopped condemning myself for not being as frugal as others. Thankfully, the Bible emphasizes more about "generosity" than "frugality", which is what I try to focus on instead. In Exodus, there were two miracles in God’s provision. The first miracle was "Manna", bread God sent from heaven. The second miracle was that those who gathered a lot (because of their great appetite) had no leftovers, and those who gathered a little (those who don't eat a lot) had no deficit. (Exo 16:16-18) They all amounted to the same amount God prescribed for their collection: one "Omer" (about 2.2 L). God can satisfy both those who need a lot and those who don't. We think our weaknesses will drive away people. But they actually attract them. Only our weaknesses that are "found out" do. That said, don't compare your strength with someone else's weakness. That leads to pride. What matters is whether we receive whatever amount of God's provision with "contentment", not "comparison".
October 8, 2026 • 4 Minute Read
479. Only This Far
This post is a translation of Pastor Lee's post from SBC's website, written on 9.27. 2026. We use certain words and ways of thinking without much thought, yet they quietly diminish the potential of our spiritual lives. One of them, I believe, is the expression many Koreans often use: ‘Only this far.’ (여기까지) Some people say that this phrase accurately describes the faith of many Korean Christians today. For example, when they are asked to serve in a ministry, they set a limit for themselves and say, ‘This is as far as I can go.’ Even those who are serving as Shepherds and Shepherd’s wives sometimes draw an invisible line in their hearts and decide, ‘This is as much as I’m willing to do.’ As I heard people describe this tendency, I could not help but ask myself, “Are we any different?” As I reflected, I realized how such thinking can hinder not only the capacity God has given us but also the work He desires to accomplish through us. One lesson I have learned through ministry is that God has given us far greater capacity than we realize. Human capacity can keep growing as long as we are willing to stretch it. Someone who struggles to care for one person today may continue responding to the challenges God places before them and eventually find themselves caring for two hundred people. Mother Teresa is a good example. When my wife lived in Korea, she would become completely exhausted after preparing a meal for ten guests. Sometimes she would even get sick afterward. But while serving in a singles house church, there were times when she prepared meals for as many as forty people, attended early morning prayer the next day, and later, when our third worship service first began, she regularly helped feed 120 young adults after worship. Today, because of her severe vision loss, she can no longer do those things, but she has become someone who is no longer intimidated by large numbers of guests. God expanded her capacity far beyond what she once thought possible. The same principle applies to intellectual abilities such as memory, learning, and understanding. Human capacity grows as it is stretched. We can be used far beyond what we believe our limits are. In fact, I believe this is part of what Jesus intended to teach through the Parable of the Talents. The servant who buried what he was entrusted with and returned it unchanged was called a wicked and lazy servant. In the same way, if we keep standing before opportunities for ministry and saying, “Only this far,” drawing our own boundaries, I believe we will one day hear a similar rebuke from our Lord. This mindset not only limits our own capacity; it also limits what God can do in and through us. Peter was the only disciple who stepped out of the boat. Even if he walked on water for only a few steps, he experienced something the others never did. Had he stayed in the boat, he would not have experienced a miracle. When we step beyond our comfort zone and take a risk in faith, God works, and we get to witness His work firsthand. When circumstances seem impossible, and we choose to tithe anyway, we discover God’s surprising provision. When life seems too busy and overwhelming to become a Shepherd, yet we commit ourselves to that ministry, we encounter God’s work in our lives. When we are sick, the natural response is to visit a doctor, but sometimes, when we step forward and ask for prayer, we experience God’s healing power in a fresh way. If we act only according to what seems reasonable and safe, we leave little room for God to demonstrate His power. It is when we step beyond what appears sensible and take a step of faith that we often experience God at work. But if we keep saying, “Only this far,” we will inevitably place limits on what God desires to do. Therefore, whenever the words “Only this far” begin to come out of your mouth, stop yourself. Instead, say, “If God desires it, I am willing to go the extra mile.” As you do, may God expand your capacity and enlarge your territory, and may you experience His wonderful work in your life.
May 1, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
420. All the Answers Are in Jesus - Pastor Chai
I lost my parents during the Korean War, so I had a rather bleak view on life since childhood. I still have vivid memories of lying in bed, hoping the next morning would never come. I was only in third or fourth grade at that time, already depressed and suicidal. At such a young age, I was not able to express myself through questions like, "What is life?" But I struggled with the meaning of life. I felt like life was chaotic and devoid of meaning. In an effort to find life’s meaning, I read all the books I could find at home, most of which were beyond a child’s intellectual capacity. For example, I read Andre Gide's "Straight Is The Gate" and Camus' "The Plague," which are hard even for adults to understand. When I became a teenager, I questioned, "What does it mean to be a human being?" I thought psychology may provide me with answers, so I read a lot of books on psychology.
In college, my reading list was mostly filled with philosophical books. I was particularly interested in existential philosophy and was a great fan of Nietzsche. However, I got tired of just studying and analyzing life. I wanted to live a real life. I longed for a happy life. Then, I got a copy of the New Testament Bible from a street evangelism team when I was in graduate school. I started to read it and finished it in three days. I slowly came to realize that Jesus's death and resurrection was an undeniable historical fact. I felt that accepting Jesus as my Lord was my only feasible option.
After receiving Jesus, life started to make sense. My confusion about life gradually dissipated. My pessimistic personality became optimistic. Finally I was able to confess that I was truly happy. This is the primary reason I evangelize. While going to heaven is important, it's secondary. I want to help those living in pain and confusion experience a truly free and fulfilling life. I want them to know that Jesus is the answer to all of their life's problems.
May 8, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
421. Unsatisfied Yearning - Pastor Chai
I was 6 years old when the Korean war broke out. My family left Seoul to take refuge in Busan, a southern port of South Korea. Despite my young age, I was terribly homesick. However, when we returned home to Seoul 3 years later, I found myself still homesick. The longing for home, oddly enough, persisted. I think most people have this longing for home that cannot be satisfied. God instills within us desires, accompanied by the means to fulfill them. When we are hungry, we eat, then the hunger disappears. When we are thirsty, we drink, then the thirst is quenched. Why, then, does this longing for home happen even when we are actually at home? The home we yearn for lies not on earth but in Heaven. God instilled this desire in us so that we don’t forget our ultimate destination, our heavenly home. The moment we die and enter Heaven, we will feel that we have finally arrived home. We have inherent yearnings not just to be home, but also for relationships, parental love, family and homeland, words that stir deep emotions within us. All these yearnings and longings will find fulfillment when we reach Heaven and gaze upon Jesus face to face. Therefore, I eagerly anticipate the day when I ascend to Heaven.
May 15, 2025 • 3 Minute Read
422. Retreat Guest Speaker for This Year
The guest speaker for our annual members’ retreat this year is “Pastor Eric”. Those who have attended HC lay leader seminar should be familiar with him. I’ve known him for about 14 years through the house church ministry network, and I’ve always wanted to invite him, but was looking for the best timing. I felt that this year is the time, as I sensed that God is ushering our congregation into a significant change and growth in this season of ministry. I greatly appreciate his sense of humour and candid approach in communication and leadership, which I believe will not only challenge us but awaken us to a new type of “joy” that is available in serving the Lord. I feel very privileged to have him as our guest speaker this year. Please don’t miss out on this opportunity to be blessed through his messages. Here is his bio, quoted from his church’s website.
—
Pastor Eric Shin (affectionately known as “PE”) has been serving as the Senior Pastor of New Life Fellowship since its inception in 1997. PE was born and raised in Seoul, S. Korea until he was 13 years old, when he and his family immigrated to the U.S. and settled in New York City. Though he went through tumultuous teenage years while adjusting to life in a new country, he met Christ at the age of 18 at his home church’s fall retreat. After experiencing the joys and challenges of following Christ and serving his local church during his high school and college years, he left behind aspirations of being a lawyer in his adopted hometown of New York City and followed God’s call to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in South Hamilton, MA. In the fall of 1994, PE and his wife, Lynette, received God’s call to move their family down to Houston, Texas, where PE served at Seoul Baptist Church of Houston as the youth pastor.
While serving, they responded to God’s prompting and, together with about 20 members and the blessing and loving support of Seoul Baptist Church, founded New Life Fellowship on August 10, 1997. Since then, PE has been experiencing the joy of witnessing the expansion of God’s kingdom through house church ministry. Over the years at New Life, PE, Lynette and their three now adult sons, Enoch, Caleb and Josiah, had the privilege of trekking through nine countries in Southeast Asia and China and serving in Mexico and Camp Barnabas as a family for missional purposes. PE has also had the honor of serving the Lord in far-flung places like Afghanistan where he has been able to live out his faith and share the gospel with the Muslim world. Several years ago, PE visited a college house church, where they had a potluck dinner.
That evening, there were five different kinds of chicken served: McDonald’s McNuggets, Church’s Chicken, Popeye’s Chicken, Boston Market Chicken and KFC! PE will never forget that house church meal! When PE isn’t equipping New Life members to make Christ’s disciples of all nations through their house churches or prayerfully using New Life’s resources to help other churches implement their own house church ministries in the spirit of the New Testament church, he enjoys traveling with Lynette, fishing, sharing good food with good people and drinking senior citizen coffee from McDonald’s. But no matter where he is or what he’s doing, PE tries to live by one of his favorite verses in 2 Corinthians 8:9 because it reminds him of how Christ became poor for our sake, so that through His poverty we might become rich.
May 22, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
423. Hearing Soft Voice of God - Pastor Chai
When I feel overwhelmed with negative emotions like worry, fear, or anger, I sit down at a desk with an open notebook. I write down everything that comes to mind, all my feelings. When it appears that God is trying to say something to me through my thoughts, I write those thoughts in a new paragraph. Then I start a new paragraph and write my counter argument against them. Eventually I come to the point where I have nothing more to say. By that time my emotions have calmed down, and I have found the cause of my emotions and the ways to handle them. It’s because I have heard God’s voice. God speaks constantly to us, rarely with an audible voice but through thoughts. His voice is not loud. His voice is so subtle that we can’t hear it if we are emotionally agitated. Writing my thoughts and feelings as they come to my mind helps calm the emotions and sort out the thoughts to enable me to hear God’s voice. When I read later what I have written down previously, I find that some of the voices are accusing and condemning while others are comforting and encouraging. The former is an evil spirit’s voice disguising itself as God’s voice, and the latter is the God’s true voice. As I learn to discern the difference between my thoughts, the devil’s ideas, and God’s true voice, I don’t have to sit down to write to hear God’s voice in the midst of daily routines.
May 29, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
424. A Pastor with a High Risk - Pastor Chai
When I hear news of pastors succumbing to sexual sin or financial mismanagement, I feel a sense of dread rather than shock. I can't help but think that had it been me in those situations, I may have succumbed to the same temptations. I seem to have a stronger inclination toward pleasure than most people. Before becoming a Christian, I found my greatest joy in gambling while intoxicated. This predisposition makes me more susceptible to the allure of sin than others.
My attraction to pleasure and sin didn't vanish after I accepted Jesus as my savior - it persisted. As a result, I fear that if I ever loosen my grip on Jesus' hand, I will swiftly succumb to temptation. Therefore, for me, being filled with the Holy Spirit is not merely an option, it's an absolute necessity. I am widely recognized as the founder of the house church movement. If I were to fall into sin, countless individuals would be disillusioned, and the house church movement would be severely hindered. For a long time, I've been seeking an answer from the Lord as to why He would entrust someone like me, a high-risk individual, with the task of restoring the New Testament church. There are numerous pure, sincere, capable, and compassionate individuals. Why did He choose me over them, risking the collapse of the house church movement at any given moment?
For quite some time, I received no response. However, Jesus recently revealed that He employs me because of my vulnerability to temptation. I am compelled to rely solely on Jesus, preventing me from attempting to act independently and requiring me to follow His guidance. While it's comforting to know that my weakness is actually a strength in the Lord's eyes, I still experience anxiety because I am aware that He will not eliminate my weaknesses. The prospect of me succumbing to temptation and derailing the house church movement will always linger.
I eagerly await the day when Jesus returns. My body will be clothed with the power of the resurrection, and only then will I be liberated from my sinful desires.
June 5, 2025 • 3 Minute Read
425. A Lion, Not A Cat - Pastor Chai
Many Christians suffer from worry and fear because they have a dim view of Jesus. They think of Jesus like a domestic cat. The Horse and His Boy is the third book in CS Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. In the story, there is a girl named Aravis living in a country next to Narnia. Her father pledged for her to be married to an old official without her consent, so she decided to run away to Narnia, a land she had always admired. She set out with two Narnian horses (Narnian horses can speak) and a young Narnian slave, Shasta, without telling her parents. While passing through the city, Aravis ran into her friend, the princess. The princess insisted she come with her to the palace, so the girl promised to meet Shasta at the cemetery outside the city the next day. When night fell, Shasta was overwhelmed by the dread of ghosts while waiting among the graves. At that moment, a cat came out from nowhere, rubbed its body against the boy and comforted him, allowing him to fall asleep. While staying overnight in the palace, Aravis learned that the evil prince was planning a surprise attack on Narnia. When Aravis met Shasta in the morning, she told him about the plot, and they rode their horses at top speed to inform the Narnian king. Along the way, the horses became exhausted and started to slow down. A fierce lion suddenly appeared and chased them, so the horses ran for their lives and were able to tell the news to the Narnian king before the evil prince's army arrived. As a result, Narnia was well-prepared, won the battle, and even captured the prince. Later, Aslan the Lion appeared (Aslan is the lion that appears throughout the Chronicles of Narnia series, symbolizing Jesus). He revealed that he had been the fierce lion that chased them to make the horses run with all their might. He told them that he was also the small cat who had comforted the boy at the graveyard.
Jesus is big. He is the creator of the entire universe. All things were made through Him and are sustained in Him. This infinite God emptied himself and came to the world in a humble human body. And He invites us to be His friends. As we enjoy intimacy with Him, we sometimes forget how great Jesus is. We start to think of Him as a cat instead of a lion. If we don’t understand the full scope of who He is, we can't be free of worry or fear because we can't truly trust Jesus. We must pursue intimacy with Jesus but should always remember that He is also an awe-some God.
June 12, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
426. The reason I post youth ministry-related announcements for Sunday
Youth ministry (and Children’s ministry) are often easy to view in a silo. Simply because they are isolated, separate ministries that operate independently of adult ministries, it can be easy to think what happens in youth ministry is independent of adult ministry. However, youth ministry impacts the entire church because of two key components: graduation and youth shepherds. Graduation means that youth of The Seed will become adults of the The Seed. So successes in youth ministry directly translate over to successes in adult ministry, since all the success stories of youth ministry are moving in towards adult ministry. Youth Shepherds, through youth ministry, become strong adult members who trust in God and have a shepherd heart. Many team leaders in our church, are youth shepherds or former youth shepherds. In many ways, youth ministry has impacted and shaped the core leaders of adult ministry today. I used to not put youth ministry only announcements for Sunday announcements, since I too, once believed youth ministry was it’s own bubble. But now, I am very willing to inform church members, even about youth ministry announcements on Sunday service. This is because I believe youth ministry and adult ministry are linked and dependent on one another. And specifically, I believe youth ministry blessings, become direct blessings to adult ministry as well. There will be an upcoming graduation service. This is not just a routine thing we do every year for students moving on from high school, but also an acknowledgement of members from youth house church transitioning into adult house church. There will also be an upcoming youth shepherd appreciation as new youth shepherd appointment ceremony. Again, these are not just youth ministry staffing changes that made it’s way into Sunday service, but highlights and celebrates adult members who have caught our mission to restore the new testament church. These adult members return to their house churches as stronger house church members, because they understand the shepherd’s heart. So when you see a youth ministry announcement don’t dismiss it as irrelevant information, but rejoice for we are one church, one body, with many parts (1 Cor 12:12). And when you see a youth ministry budget increase, don’t think “youth ministry is taking all our money.” Think “that is a great investment for our entire church.” Because successes in youth ministry always flow in the direction of adult ministry.
June 19, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
427. Don’t Try to Keep Commandments - Pastor Chai
Immediately after I accepted Jesus as my savior and lord, I felt like I was on cloud nine. All my past sins were forgiven, and I was given the chance to start a brand new life! But this elation didn’t last long. It turned into disappointment as I struggled in my Christian walk. I tried to obey his commands but miserably failed. I thought it might be due to a lack of will power, so I tried harder. I failed again. My disappointment turned into desperation then into resentment towards God, who seemed to demand a life that was beyond my ability.
Ironically, I got out of this quagmire by admitting I was not able to obey God’s commands. Jesus said the two greatest commandments are to love God with all my heart, soul, and mind and to love my neighbors as myself. No matter how hard I tried, though, I would never be able to do it. I couldn’t even keep the smallest commandment on my own! Then why does God give us commandments at all? They are God’s list of prayer requests. God invites us to pray for these requests so that He can fulfill them in us through His power.
So I stopped trying and started praying. This freed me from guilty feelings, and His commands somehow began to be carried out in my life. Obviously, God starts working when we stop working.
June 26, 2025 • 2 Minute Read
428. Are You Filled with the Holy Spirit- Pastor Chai
While everyone desires to be filled with the Holy Spirit, many find it difficult to provide a concrete definition of what that looks like.
In the early days of my faith, I understood being filled with the Holy Spirit as a "spiritual experience," like feeling a burning sensation or speaking in tongues. However, I saw people who had intense spiritual experiences continue to live lives no different from unbelievers, so I realized that these experiences alone didn't equate to being filled with the Holy Spirit. Then, influenced by Reformed theology, I understood being filled with the Holy Spirit as a changed life. But I couldn't shake the feeling that there must be something more to it than just a change in character and lifestyle. Now, at the age of 80, I believe I can actually define being filled with the Holy Spirit. It's about seeing things from God's perspective and manifesting the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit in your life. A person filled with the Holy Spirit doesn't see things from their own perspective nor the world's perspective, but from God's. And in their life they manifest love, wisdom, and power that could only come from the Holy Spirit.
According to this definition, having a powerful spiritual experience without a changed perspective doesn't mean you're filled with the Holy Spirit. Similarly, having a transformed life without exhibiting supernatural love, wisdom, or power beyond your own capabilities doesn't equate to being filled with the Holy Spirit. I believe that Paul's statement, "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Gal 2:20) perfectly encapsulates what it means to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
July 3, 2025 • 3 Minute Read
429. Sabbatical Report
I am officially back from Sabbatical, as of last Tuesday. Two months passed quickly, but I feel that I have enjoyed all that I had planned to do, thanks to God’s grace. I did my best not to try to prepare for ministry or get ahead and worry about church, as it is Jesus’ church. Thankfully, I rested well and heard that the church did well in my absence. In the first week of sabbatical, I stayed at my sister’s place. I enjoyed the weather and the California vibe. The highlight of my sabbatical in the US was the trip to Arizona. As I was driving from Vegas to the Grand Canyon, I was amazed by the vastness of the land and the beauty of the mountains. It was a 5-hour drive, so I was initially worried about the long drive, but it ended up being a serene experience and an intimate time of praise and thanksgiving for God’s incredible handiwork. Staying in Korea with my family for a month was very enjoyable for me, as I had missed their presence. During our first week in Seoul, we had the opportunity to visit some historic and iconic Korean places. When we visited Busan, after connecting with my relatives, we took them on a day trip to Kyoungjoo, where the famous Buddhist temple “Boolgooksa” is located. It was a scenic moment. We thoroughly enjoyed Jeju as the Airbnb we rented was beautifully renovated, with both a modern and traditional Jeju vibe, located in a very tranquil area. Still, there were a couple of restaurants I saw on TV shows just around the corner from our place (which I didn’t know), and I felt God’s goodness and saw it as his loving provision. We took a short trip to Osaka from Jeju, and though it was a good experience, we felt it was too crowded and touristy. However, Jennifer found Expo 2025 to be a valuable source of architectural inspiration. When we returned to Seoul to conclude our stay, we did some shopping and caught up with Jen’s relatives. After coming back to Toronto, I had to fly to Houston to serve at Shepherd’s conference and deliver the final message. It was a great experience serving the shepherds and appreciating them in such a way. Thankfully, the final message was well-received, and many found it encouraging. When I visited elevation church on the final Sunday of my sabbatical, I was deeply blessed by the worship. However, through the sermon, which focused on the value of scripture, I felt God was giving a tangible and concrete direction after the sabbatical, which was to be “the man of one book”. I want to thank all the shepherds, their spouses, and team leaders for their faithful service to the church during my absence. What I learned is that the time away from work ultimately creates a greater desire to return to work. As much as I enjoyed the rest, having meaningful work is a blessing. I am glad to be back, and I am excited about what God will do in my life and our ministry differently.
September 24, 2023 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (30) Completion
Congratulations to Ryan Kang on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
October 18, 2023 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (31) Completion
Congratulations to Yoosun Lim on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
November 19, 2023 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (32) Completion
Congratulations to RH on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC) ! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
January 26, 2024 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (33) Completion
Congratulations to Yongsun Nam on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
March 19, 2024 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (34) Completion
Congratulations to Jason Ahn on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
March 19, 2024 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (35) Completion
Congratulations to Sean Ahn on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
May 25, 2024 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (36) Completion
Congratulations to Dylan Lawrie, Esther Kim, and Lucas Kim on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
June 12, 2024 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (37) Completion
Congratulations to Phil Kim and Gunil Yang on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
November 17, 2024 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (38) Completion
Congratulations to Benjamin (Joon) Heo, Ailsa Zhang and Sara Razzaghi on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
December 15, 2024 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (39) Completion
Congratulations to Erin Yoon and Gaun Ban on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
March 16, 2025 • 1 Minute Read
New Family Class (40) Completion
Congratulations to Zach Pastore on successfully completing the New Family Class (NFC)! May God empower you to serve Jesus and his church with joy and passion.
May 1, 2025 • 1 Minute Read
Living Life (17) Completion
Congratulations to Ailsa Zhang, Daniel Kim, Joy Kim, Philip Kim, and Sarah Cho on successfully completing Living Life! May you continue to grow into a mature follower of Jesus!
August 9, 2026 • 8 Minute Read
Living Life Testimony (19) - Janice Goh
Hi everyone, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Janice. I first came to this church because of my best friend, Esther Kim. After accepting Christ, I was really excited to begin this new journey of faith, but if I'm being honest, I also felt completely lost. I had so many questions about the Bible, about Christianity, and even about who God really is. One day Esther came to me and said, "Why don't we take Living Life together? Then you can ask all the questions you've been wanting to ask." We actually tried to join during the winter, but because we were studying in Guelph and Living Life wasn’t offered online, we couldn’t attend. Looking back now, I’m actually glad we waited because I realized how important it was to experience this class in person. When registration opened again for the summer, Esther immediately messaged me and said, "Let's do it this time! You can stay at my house every week and I can see you more often this summer." I really wanted to say yes, but there was one problem. Summer was my co-op semester. As an international student, my co-op was really important because it helped support my living expenses and prepare me financially for the next semester. But I still hadn’t found a job, and if I couldn’t secure one soon, I had to drop my co-op. At the same time, saying “yes” to Living Life meant: travelling every Wednesday after work from Guelph to Richmond Hill which takes about 3 hours, staying until Sunday for church, and then returning home. My mind was full of worries. "What if I don't get a job?" "What if I'm making the wrong decision?" I tried to solve everything myself. I kept thinking, "I'll find a job first, and then I'll decide if I can take Living Life." But as the Living Life sign up deadline got closer, I still didn't have a job. That was when I finally stopped trying to figure everything out on my own and started praying. One day, almost out of nowhere, I texted Esther, "Let's take Living Life together. I'm going to trust God. I'll sign up first, and I'll leave the rest to Him." Looking back now, I think that was the first time I truly chose faith over certainty. When Living Life began, I enjoyed every class. Every Wednesday I learned more about who God is, but God wasn’t only teaching me through the classes. Every week, He also gave me opportunities to actually practise what I was learning, especially how to trust Him more and more. During one of my prayers, I made a promise to God. I said, "God, if You provide me with a co-op job and help me complete every Living Life class, I'll share my testimony so people will know the great things You have done for me." Near the end of May, during the last week of co-op recruitment, I had almost given up. I remember deciding that the next morning I would print my résumé and hand it out at shopping malls to look for a part-time job instead. But before I even got out of bed in that morning, my phone rang. It was my previous co-op employer. Two months earlier, I had emailed them asking if they were hiring, and they told me they weren't. But this time, they called me and offered me a hybrid co-op position. At that moment I knew this wasn't just coincidence or luck. God had already prepared a way before I could even see it. Even my work schedule worked perfectly. I worked from home three days a week and went into the Kitchener office two days a week. Every Wednesday, after work, I travelled straight from Kitchener to Richmond Hill for Living Life. Looking back, I often told people that attending Living Life felt like a reward every week. Not because travelling was easy. But because every Wednesday became another opportunity to experience God's faithfulness. He gave me energy after a full day of work. He provided enough financially for all my transportation. He helped me stay awake and focused during class after hours of travelling. Even preparing snacks became another reminder of His care. (For Living Life, we would rotate providing snacks for the classes) Even something as small as preparing snacks for class became another reminder of His care. Since I travelled directly from work, I didn’t know how I would prepare them when it was my turn. But the first time, Esther’s mom prepared everything for me, and another time, my shepherd Joy helped provide them. It reminded me that sometimes God provides through the people He places around us. One Wednesday especially reminded me of that. Because of a misunderstanding, I thought there wasn't going to be a class that week, so I accepted a nail appointment after work. (PSA: I work as a nail tech as a side hustle.) While I was working, I saw Esther messaged the group to confirm there was no class that day. But the next message was Pastor Caleb replying that we do have class. Immediately, I started panicking. I hadn't packed anything. I had a client. I still had work to finish. And somehow I needed to get to Richmond Hill. Normally, I would've tried to solve everything myself. But this time, the very first thing I did was pray. Right there at my desk, I folded my hands and prayed, "God, I really want to go to class today. I don't care how You do it, but please make a way." After that prayer, one thing after another fell into place. My manager kindly let me leave early, I rushed home to pack, managed to rearrange my nail appointment, and somehow still caught my bus to Richmond Hill. When I arrived in Richmond Hill, I accidentally got on the wrong bus and ended up one stop away from church. Walking would have taken another thirty minutes. Then I looked at my phone. It had only 1% battery left. I was able to quickly book an Uber before my phone died. When I finally got into the car, it started pouring rain. I remember sitting there thinking, "God... You really didn't want me walking in the rain today." It wasn't a huge miracle, but it reminded me once again that God cared about every detail of my journey. Another lesson that deeply impacted me was during the class on our identity in Christ. Around that time, people kept asking why I was travelling to Richmond Hill every single week just for a Bible class. Some people looked at me as if I was wasting my time. Others questioned whether it was worth it. Eventually I started questioning myself. Am I being weird? Am I making the wrong decision? Then during class, Pastor Caleb said something that felt like God was speaking directly to me. He said that Christians should expect to look "weird" to the world because we are called to live differently. He also reminded us not to fear because God protects His children. I remember tearing up during that lesson and even marking it in my notebook because I didn't want to forget it. He ended by teaching that God allows trials only within what we are able to bear and that He always provides a way for us to endure them. That truth has stayed with me ever since.Before Living Life, whenever I faced difficulties, I would immediately think, "How am I going to solve this?" Now, my first response is becoming, "God, how are You going to lead me through this?" Living Life didn't remove my challenges. I still had work. I still had long journeys. I still had stress. But it completely changed how I walked through them. My favourite verse from Living Life is Revelation 3:20: "See, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me." Before taking this class, I thought trusting God meant waiting until I had everything figured out. Now I realise that God wasn't asking me to have all the answers. He was simply asking me to open the door and trust Him one step at a time. Looking back, I realize the greatest miracle wasn't just getting a co-op job. It wasn't making it to class every Wednesday. It wasn't even the many little ways God provided throughout the journey. The greatest miracle was that God was changing my heart. Living Life taught me that God isn't only interested in giving us answers. He wants us to know Him, trust Him, and walk with Him. Today, I still don't know what challenges tomorrow will bring. But now I know I don't have to face them alone. Before I end, I also want to thank Pastor Caleb for these 13 weeks and for always patiently answering all of my many questions. Thank you to my amazing classmates, my shepherd Joy, Esther and her family for always taking care of me and giving me a place to stay, and everyone else who has encouraged and supported me throughout this journey. Thank you.
July 19, 2026 • 5 Minute Read
Growing Life Testimony - Philip Kim
Hi everyone. My name is Phil, and I am currently serving as the Shepherd's Husband for PNG House Church. Today, I want to share how God used the Growing Life Bible Study and the Shepherd's Conference in Houston to transform my heart. Before taking the Growing Life class, I want to honestly share where I was spiritually. For quite some time, I had been struggling with apathy and burnout. My quiet time and prayer life became something I did only occasionally, and even then, it often felt like I was simply checking off a box because it was something I "should" do as a Christian rather than something I genuinely desired. In ministry, I truly love my house church members, but serving often felt heavy. There would be many nights where I would work, get into stressful and difficult situations at work, come home at 6am, wake up, set up and do house church. I would wonder to myself, "when will this become easier? When will serving start to feel normal?" Some weeks I felt energized and joyful in ministry. Other weeks I felt exhausted and discouraged. Looking back, I realized my spiritual foundation wasn't firm. My walk with God was constantly fluctuating depending on how I felt. That was where I was before taking Growing Life. Ironically, I didn't sign up because I was eager to take the class. The men in my house church wanted to take it, so I took it for their sake. But God knew I needed it far more than I realized. There were two lessons God used to begin restoring my relationship with Him. The first was learning what quiet time and prayer truly meant. As a Christian, I always knew QT stood for "Quiet Time," but I had never really stopped to think about what that meant. Quiet time means personal time with God in solace. Quiet time isn't simply reading through a chapter of Scripture and moving on. It's intentionally spending personal, undistracted time with God. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus regularly withdrew to lonely places to pray. He sought solitude to be with His Father. One of the practical things I learned was that sometimes it is better to slowly meditate on one verse than to rush through an entire chapter. Instead of asking, "What do I want God to say to me today?" I learned to sit quietly, reflect on His Word, and ask, "God, what do You want to say to me?" I honestly can't remember the last time I had simply sat in silence before God, listening instead of speaking. The second lesson was learning that ministry is a marathon, not a sprint. Somehow, I had convinced myself that if ministry felt difficult, something must be wrong. But Growing Life reminded me that serving God isn't supposed to be easy. It's supposed to stretch us. Like training a muscle, spiritual endurance develops over time. The struggle itself isn't failure. God uses that struggle to mature us and to help us see the joy of salvation in serving others. Those two lessons answered the questions I had been carrying in my heart. I realized my apathy wasn't simply because I was tired—it came from a distant relationship with God. My frustration with ministry wasn't because ministry was the problem—it was because I had been looking at it through my own limited vision instead of God's vision for His Church. Over those seven weeks with Caleb, God slowly replaced frustration with peace. And through that peace, He gave me confidence. For a long time I wondered whether I was ready to step into greater responsibility. Today, I believe God is calling me to serve as the Shepherd of PNG House Church. I don't say that because I feel capable. I say it because I believe God is calling me, and I want to obey Him. That leads to my experience at the Shepherd's Conference in Houston. I feel like the conference reaffirmed God’s promises, not only to me, but to our church as well. I can speak for all the shepherds and shepherd’s wives that attended, God prepared a table for us to eat, rest, and be refreshed. I also want to give a special thank you to our praise team, who led worship during the conference at New Life Fellowship. I'm normally not someone who raises my hands during worship. But standing there with around two hundred believers singing together, I couldn't help it. Without even thinking, my hands reached out toward God. It wasn't because of emotion alone. It was because I was overwhelmed by His faithfulness. The sermons and testimonies also reminded me how blessed we are. Listening to the pastors throughout the conference made me realize how much wisdom and stacked we are in this ministry. Become a shepherd or a marry a shepherd, just to attend this conference. its worth it. It also reminded me that our church isn't serving alone. The work we are doing through house churches and youth house churches is part of something much bigger than ourselves. God is moving through churches around the world. I want to finish with the verse that God impressed on my heart through the conference. Psalm 23:1 says, "The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing." Before Growing Life, I often focused on what I lacked—more energy, more passion, more strength, more motivation. But God reminded me that if He is truly my Shepherd, then I already have everything I need to follow Him faithfully. And because of that, I can trust Him to lead me, to sustain me, and to use me for His glory. Thank you.
May 24, 2026 • 7 Minute Read
Baptism Testimony - Youngshin Kim
I was born into a typical Confucian and Buddhist culture in Korea. We had lots of ancestor ceremonies every year, and I didn’t know anyone in my family — even distant relatives — who went to church at that time. But when I became an adult, I started wondering: “Who is the real me? Why was I born? What is the purpose of life? What is love? Is there a God?” I met my husband, and he was a good and caring person. We had two beautiful daughters, but somehow I was still unhappy, lonely, and gloomy. That made me carry so much guilt inside me, and it made me think I wasn’t a good mom. I felt like I was carrying a huge stone inside me. So I started searching for answers. I did counseling and joined some group counseling here in Canada, and it has been such an important support group for the past 9 years. We read a lot of philosophy and psychology books and shared our emotions openly. That helped lighten my guilt a lot. But I was still lonely and gloomy. At the beginning of last year, I concluded that there was no God. I was tired of searching for answers, and I thought, “If there is a God, why is the world like thi” Then a few months later, our family went through a huge suffering. It was such a massive challenge and we had to battle every single day. My husband and I agreed it was the hardest thing we had ever faced in our lives. I was scared it would never end and that we would have to live like that forever. But after four months, we could finally see it was ending. It almost felt like a miracle. I felt so much gratitude then, but I didn’t know where that gratitude should go… to me? To my husband? To the hospital staff? We all did our best, but the gratitude I felt was so much bigger than just us. So I thought, maybe I should go to church and find out. I called Sharon, who I had known her for about 7 years, and she knew about our situation. She had been praying for us. I went to Mokmin Church last October, and that was my first official church visit. I had gone one time when I was 10 years old, but after that I never wanted to go to church again. I felt so awkward, and the gospel song lyrics sounded cheesy and weird to me back then. So guess what my biggest concern was on the day I went to Mokmin Church? The gospel songs. But luckily, I was okay. I even related some of the lyrics to myself and my suffering, and a few times I teared up a little. But I wiped my tears away very quickly because I didn’t want the “church people” to see me crying. I still had my guard up really high back then. After visiting the Korean church a few times, Sharon suggested that I also visit “The Seed” church to experience something different. It was nice. Then one day, after a few visits, our praise team— thank you for playing that song — sang Holy Forever. Maybe because I had watched The Passion of the Christ the week before, when the lyrics started: “Your name is the highest,
Your name is the greatest,
Your name stands above them all…” from that moment, I started crying so much. Really, so much. I was thinking about Jesus, not myself. Just like the lyrics said, I truly hoped Jesus could hear us singing for Him. He is worthy. And I felt so sorry that He died for us and went through all that suffering. That became a huge turning point in my journey, and after that I became much more open to church, to people, to gospel songs — to everything. Recently I joined the Daniel Fast, and it was so helpful. I had some amazing experiences. My days became filled with the Bible, testimonies, and gospel songs instead of TV dramas or news. After one week, suddenly I had an idea. Since I felt like I was almost becoming a Christian, I prayed: “God, can You please appear in my dream the way You sometimes do for other people? I’m so curious what kind of figure You would be in my dream.” Then I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up at 6 a.m. as usual and started making my kids’ lunches. You know that feeling when you have a really good dream or a really bad dream, and the feeling stays with you after you wake up? That morning, I felt so happy, and my heart felt so warm. I kept thinking about the dream. Then after about 30 minutes, suddenly I was in shock. “Wait… wait a second… really? Was that Jes? Really? Did He listen to my prayer?” So… this was my dream. In the dream, I was staying for one week at my grand-uncle’s house. In Korea, we call older male relatives “할아버지.” I was calling him 할아버지. We spent time together all day long in his yard. He didn’t say much, but I knew he loved me so much. The whole atmosphere was filled with warmth and love. Of course, I loved him too. We were just facing each other, and I talked to him all day long. Then after one week, I had to go back to my mom’s house. So I told him I had to leave. And he said… “Visit me twice a day.” And I answered, “Yes. Yes, I will.” I was so happy because I could see him again every day, twice a day. Then I woke up. So… if that 할아버지 was Jesus, I thought, how do I visit Him twice a day? Ah… I can pray twice a day. And I’ve been doing that ever since, with joy. Jesus wants to see me and wants me to visit Him. Of course I will. I don’t know if that dream came from my unconscious mind or not, but honestly, I don’t really care what it was. Through that dream, I experienced what Jesus’ love could feel like. At some point, I realized I don’t ask those lifelong questions anymore:
“How can I be happy?”
“Why am I still lonely?”
“Why was I born?”
“What is the purpose of life?”
“What is love?” I’m happier now, and I’m filled with a little more joy. But that little joy and happiness have made a huge difference in me. I’m kinder to my neighbors and greet them with genuine happiness. I’m kinder to my husband and my kids too, and I hope they can feel that. I’m so happy to be baptized today! I am so thankful to all the members of this church who have been so welcoming to me. I want to give a special thanks to my house church members and my shepperds, Sharon & Edward. The encouragement and support of both my shepperds and the house church members are one of the main reasons why I am here today. I also wanted to thank my Friday counselling group and my family, who have been so supportive and happy for me. Lastly, THANK YOU to our praise team for playing Holy Forever. Thank you.
April 5, 2026 • 7 Minute Read
Growing Life Testimony - Sean Ahn
Hi everyone, my name is Sean and this is my Growing Life testimony. The reason why I took Growing Life, well I don’t know. I’m not entirely sure why I decided to take it. I don’t remember what I was hoping to get out of Growing Life. If I’m honest, this is how my life looked ever since I joined this church. Take New Family Class, GPS, pick Housechurch, go on mission, join a team ministry and so on. At first, I thought it was because I wanted to do it, but no. I don’t wanna do missions, I don’t wanna dance and perform in front of strangers, I wish I could do more University club stuff instead of doing church, and so on. All of these, I just did, because someone told me to do it and maybe out of fear that I can’t stay here if I don’t do these things. Growing Life was the next step after Living life, so I took it. Growing Life taught me to do Quiet Time, so just like every other thing I’ve done, I did it. I won’t deny it was helpful. During my QT, I experienced healing. I had two chest pains ever since Grade 9, one in the middle of my chest, a feeling of tightness and burden, and another was on my heart, a sharp pain that attacked my nerves from my heart to my fourth finger in my right hand. One QT night, it was gone. Ever since I was young I asked for healing and look, it happened. I’m very thankful that God healed me. But even after all of this, something felt wrong. I think that’s why the last couple of months were very difficult, I couldn’t just do it anymore. I needed some sort of a breakthrough, a goal as to why I’m doing all this. I was getting tired and close to getting a burnout from trying not to be overwhelmed. I didn’t let myself be overwhelmed, “You are not doing a lot, you should be doing more, you shouldn’t be tired.” I was saved, my assurance in salvation has never been this solid and Growing life strengthened my belief further. But it was still there. Despite everything, I kept doing my Quiet Time. I asked for help, and God brought me back all the way to the start, when I didn’t know who God was. At first, I remember being so thankful to Jesus who took on my sin and resurrected with glory. In one sense, amazing! I’m all set for life now, right? But the more I do bible study, the more I serve, the more I spend time with God, a part of me was scared. I had no understanding or context for why Jesus did what he did. Of course, it’s because he loves us all, but what is that? What is love that God would go through hell? So when other people showed any form of love or care to me, I was scared. Why are you so nice to me? I sin and I hurt people, that's all I do. I don’t deserve any of this. At one time I truly believed these. The more I struggled the more I suffered, because now I know enough to deny these thoughts. But the feelings are still there and I can’t just stop feeling. So I fell into a cycle of feeling stress and adding more stress because it felt like I shouldn’t be feeling stress. Growing Life did prove me wrong. One thing I was taught is that God strengthened me to have a choice. If I accept that Jesus is Lord and I am a container, he gives me strength to overcome this war between choosing my old nature, sin, or the new nature, Jesus. Once I let go of the pride that tells me “you shouldn’t ask for help” Jesus comes into my life. In all my prayers, I end with “Let your will be done” and thanksgiving. I don’t understand how God will work through all I’m going through right now, but I can still choose to trust him. Even if my feelings say no to God, I can still choose to say yes to God. Every time I went to God, whether I blamed him or I was angry at him, he was always there. There was a day this week where I couldn’t get out of this suffering and grief that I was physically sick. It felt like something was crawling inside of my chest with fire. I cried out to God, why did I ever do anything just to suffer even more? Why did you heal me and give me something worse? But I still came to him, and he comforted me. I was worried that now that I blamed God knowing that I was wrong to blame him. But God didn’t hate me for being angry or sad, he simply stayed with me. Soon, I prayed, “God, I don’t understand why I have to go through all this, why I have to come to you in such overwhelming fear and grief, in anger and suffering, but I trust you.” Once I gave this prayer, I was healed. and he reminded me why I started this path, it was to chase after Jesus with all that I am because I experienced his love and I wanted to know how to love like him. Now I strive for his love with everything that I am. Already God is showing me why I went through such struggle and pain. Lisa was crying, and she shared that she was overwhelmed, feeling like she needs to do more to be perfect, but she isn’t enough. I also went through this struggle and I overcame through the teachings in sermons and my prayer with God. Then I realized I could comfort her. I thought it was impossible for me to be a help and a comfort to someone, but God did. Now, I’m joyful and thankful that I went through it all. Knowing this, I am excited for what the future holds for me. I may not see or understand why I have to go through certain things, but if it ends up bringing glory to God, I can move forward. For my feelings, I just need to pray to God and ask for help when I feel overwhelmed. When I felt like I didn’t want to pray, I praised God. When I praise God, whether I feel the lyrics or not, just singing them helps, Christ be magnified is a great song. I mean the bridge is so epic, I won't bow to idols, I'll stand strong and worship You
And if it puts me in the fire, I'll rejoice 'cause You're there too
I won't be formed by feelings, I hold fast to what is true
If the cross brings transformation then I'll be crucified with You Amazing song. To conclude, I am very thankful for everything I went through. There are a lot of things I don’t understand, but Growing Life taught me how to trust God despite everything. I was equipped with many tools when I am under these situations again. I want to thank Anthony. He was so patient with me during Growing Life and he taught me so many things. And above all, I want to praise and thank God who is exactly who he says he is, faithful, good, merciful and above all, love.
September 14, 2025 • 6 Minute Read
HC Lay-leader Seminar Testimony - Sarah Cho
Hi, everyone. My name is Sarah, and today I will be sharing my testimony about my experience at the House Church Lay Leader Seminar in Houston I attended along with Jeesu and Chan. To give some context about how I felt about house church before attending the seminar, we need to take a short trip down memory lane. Many years ago, I served as a youth shepherd here at The Seed, and at that time, I felt that my end goal would be to become an adult shepherd – specifically, a shepherd’s wife, but for now we’ll just leave it as adult shepherd. I was young, energetic, and had a passion and fire for house church ministry. And then I entered adulthood, which was a whole lot of trials and suffering. Life became extremely difficult, and instead of turning to God, I tried doing everything my own way. Because I had so little of God’s love in me, I had so little love to give to others at house church. Selfishly, I only served out of obligation, or only when it wasn’t an inconvenience to me. I also watched the shepherds around me – my parents, my older brother, my own shepherd – and saw how difficult and sacrificial the role was. It looked too hard. The passion and fire I had for house church ministry died down, and I pretended I never felt God’s push to become a shepherd. I remained in this rut until the beginning of this year when Pastor Chai came to our church for the KSC Revival Meeting. At this point, I had run so far from the idea of possibly becoming a shepherd that I had forgotten about it, but I was also very tired of being in a spiritual rut, so I attended the very last session. At this session, Pastor Chai said that the most unique joy we as Christians could experience is celebrating a VIP coming to Christ with our house church. He also said that one of the most honourable things we can do for God is to serve as a shepherd and live the life of sacrifice to bring the lost to Christ. When I heard this, something in my head clicked. The reasons I found house church to be difficult were because of my own selfishness and how I had lost sight of our church’s mission: to create a church where unchurched people love to belong. I was challenged to repent, and I once again felt God’s push to pray and prepare to become a shepherd – only this time, the push felt much stronger. That night, I decided to turn to God, start actively praying for the heart and means to become a shepherd at The Seed, and to attend the next Lay Leader Seminar. Through Pastor Eric’s lectures during the seminar, God helped me to develop two new perspectives about house church and shepherding. The first is about prayer. I always knew it was important, but I further learned that it is not just important – it is crucial. House church ministry cannot happen without prayer. If there is no prayer, there is no power. If there is little prayer, there is little power. If there is much prayer, there is much power. Choosing not to pray is a declaration of independence from God. When we pray, God speaks to us. When God speaks to us, we obey. So, we are to pray and do house church ministry exactly how God tells us to do it, and this way, we will be able to enjoy the ministry without being burnt out. The second perspective I learned is that house church doesn’t have to be perfect. In Luke Chapter 10, Mary and Martha hosted Jesus in their home. While Martha was preoccupied and stressed about the house preparations, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to him. Both Mary and Martha served, but Mary chose what is most important. Pastor Eric told us to not be Martha when serving, but to be present. During the house church visitation at Houston, I saw how much of a Martha I was, and how much of a Mary the shepherd, Esther Kwack, was. There was a VIP visiting for the third time that night. I said hello to him, introduced myself, then turned to the kitchen to ask the host if there was anything I can help with. While others talked with the VIP, I tossed the salad. During dinner, the shepherd sat with the VIP and talked with him the whole time. I, on the other hand, was worried about how loud the two dogs were barking, and how one member was so preoccupied with her young child that she wasn’t able to eat and talk with the others. During sharing time, I often thought, “Wow, the conversations are getting sidetracked. They should really stick to the sharing structure.” I would often look at the shepherd to see if she was also as stressed as I was, but, like Mary, she was calm and present. She didn’t try to control the flow of house church. She didn’t stop conversations that were off topic. She led with a peaceful and graceful heart. I know that the things I was concerned about weren’t inherently wrong. It’s good for house church to run smoothly. But if we focus on making everything perfect, we lose sight of why we do house church. Through this experience, God revealed to me the condition of my heart and my need for control. I went to the seminar with a lot of doubts and fears. I lack leadership skills. I’m not a great decision-maker. I’m a closed-off person. Cooking is very stressful for me. There are a handful of other reasons I think I’m not cut out for the role. To be completely transparent, these doubts and fears still remain, but I was able to leave Houston with the promise from God that He will provide, pave the way, and prepare me during this season of my life. Through this, I was able to make the concrete decision that when God calls me in His time, I will obey with a grateful heart and not delay in taking the next step. I would like to thank Pastor Caleb, my shepherds Joy and Phil, and my house church for all the prayers and encouragement I received throughout this process. Thank you so much for listening to my testimony!
August 24, 2025 • 7 Minute Read
Confirmation Testimony - Esther Kim
Hello everyone! Not everyone may know me, but I am the fourth Esther at the Seed with the last name of Kim. I’m up here today to share about how God has worked in my life time and time again and saved me with His Goodness. This testimony is long overdue, but only now, in my third year of university, I have the courage to come up here and share with you all my story. For as long as I can remember, relationships were the anchor of my life. Even the thought of losing an important relationship would trigger panic attacks, leaving me with chest pains or painful indigestion. I looked for a sense of belonging and peace in the security of my earthly relationships. For some reason, I imagined myself on a conveyor belt, with Jesus standing at the opposite end. I was slowly inching toward the edge of a mountain cliff. There were moments in my life where I felt like I was hanging on to a mere blade of grass for my dear life, desperately scrambling to pull myself back up. Then it happened. In my graduating year of highschool, for reasons I could not understand, my entire friend group talked behind my back and left me isolated and in the dark. My then best friend of 4 years replaced me and joined the gossip with everyone else. During my moment of confusion and devastation, my then relationship dumped me two weeks before prom. In the months of April, May, and June of 2023, my entire social life at school collapsed. I was severely depressed, had repetitive panic attacks, and hated going to school for the first time in my life. I coped with my hurt by distracting it with another hurt, but the cycle kept repeating, and every night I ended up crying myself to sleep. It was the loneliest time of my life, and it was the deepest hurt I’ve ever been through. My only source of socialization was house church and my family. House church was the only thing I looked for all week, and the only place where I felt the people around me truly cared for me and wanted to talk to me. To be a little bit dramatic, it might’ve been the only reason I’m even here today. Then I attended the adult retreat of 2023. During this retreat with pastor Doug, I felt so much peace and comfort from the presence of God. Through the message and worship, He gently reminded me how deep His love was for me, and when everyone else left, He was by my side, reaching His arms out in welcoming love, having never left me. I was never alone, I just never seeked Him. As Hebrews 13:5 says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Realizing this, I felt ultimate peace in my heart. Instead of hanging on at the edge of a cliff, I felt as if Jesus strongly held my grip and pulled me out from the conveyor belt and safely into a castle built on rock with a beautiful view. I broke down in tears and told Him that I no longer want to rely my security on earthly relationships, but a father-and-daughter relationship with Him. Not only through the retreat, Jesus slowly but surely healed my shattered heart and pieced it one by one through house church, my parents, my youth shepherds, and my current friends. As I drew nearer to Him and sought Him with a burning passion, I began noticing even the smallest ways He was working in my life. I remember praying during the retreat, “I just want friends, Lord.” A few days later, I saw somewhere, Matthew 6:33: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto you.” I listened, and focused on strengthening my relationship with Jesus. However, I still trembled at what university may bring and its own drama. But God started placing people in my life that showed me gentle love and true friendships. God sent me a Christian friend living in my same hometown, same dorm building, same floor with the biggest heart. We now live together in Guelph. He gave me the funniest yet most caring friend I’ve ever had. She was someone who made me laugh so hard everyday I think I grew abs, and at the same time brought me to much tears with the depth of her love for me. He sent me the most patient person ever to deal with my hot tempered, clumsy self, teaching me how love truly is meant to be. He also somehow allowed me to become the President of a Korean club and gave me a sense of cultural belonging in a place where Asians were a visible minority. At the start of the school year, the previous club president randomly asked if I was Korean. I awkwardly said yes, and that day he convinced me to take over his position. Through that club, I built precious relationships and learned how to lead in confidence in a group setting. There were a few other ways God worked in my life and answered my prayers. I somehow began to develope anxiety over my phone being too quiet. Whenever I checked my phone, and there were no notifications after an 8 hour shift, I felt very isolated. I thought this was the silliest concern, but still told God in one my prayers. A few weeks later, I was added to a group chat that contained all the incoming freshmen in my year. My phone never stayed silent after that. I didn’t know the almighty God cared about a little sadness over simple notifications. But He did, and I realized, not only is His character loving, but detailed and sensitive to His children’s wants and needs. When I was worried about my ride to prom for days, one of my friends texted me out of nowhere and asked if I needed a ride. I cried at work, looking at that message and gladly said yes. I thanked God for his provision when I felt too embarrassed to ask anyone. I was also extremely stressed about going to prom, it would be the most awkward thing ever, sitting at the table facing my ex, surrounded with friends that no longer wanted to be with me. But God came through again. One of my elementary school friend who went to a different highschool, came to our prom as a date for her friend. She stayed with me the entirety of prom, and we had fun catching up. When I was in my season of loneliness, somehow, someone either from church, school, or family friends randomly asked me to hangout every week. Other days, God kept me busy with work and the gym so I didn’t have time to dwell in sadness for too long. He kept me busy with a job and socialization so that my mental health would not crumble. This is just a glimpse of how I experienced God’s character. Even on top of these events, there were many more blessings and small miracles that occurred. I know that everything I went through in my last year of high school is not the hardest I will ever face. At just 20, I’m aware that there are still greater challenges ahead. But now I have Jesus confidence. No matter what I face, He’s always there for me, working in ways I couldn’t ever guess. My worries, stress, and anxiety cannot affect my emotions deeply anymore. With this assurance, I will continue walking with Him, doing my best to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. I want to also thank my pastors, Caleb & Anthony, and my youth shepherds, Joy, Emily, and Esther Byun for leading me with such love and kindness and showing me a reflection of God’s love. I pray that our Seed community can continue to encourage and lift others, focusing on bringing more people to Christ, so they may also experience the true joy, goodness, and unconditional love from an omnipotent Father. Thank you for listening.
August 10, 2025 • 6 Minute Read
NewGen Conference Testimony - Daniel Kim
Hi everyone! A few weeks ago, I attended the NewGen Shepherds Conference in LA, and it's my privilege to share about my experience there. How did I decide to attend? A few months ago, Pastor Anthony reached out to the previous Youth Shepherd Cohort and told us that we were all invited to attend. At first, I didn't REALLY know what I was getting myself into. I just knew that shepherds from other churches in North America would be attending, and that it was probably gonna be an opportunity to meet them, be encouraged by our similar ministry work, and learn more about house church. In true P fashion, I thought, "Sounds fun, might as well.” Looking back, I should’ve prayed about it more. First impressions Fast forward to a few weeks ago - I'm at the airport and the Mokmin gang assembles. We fly to LA, get to the campus, and the first thing I notice is how many people there are. I think there were about 300 people in attendance, which was way more people than I was expecting. The next thing I notice is that some of us are wearing retreat shirts and they're black, but the overwhelming majority of people are wearing white. I think to myself, "Hm that's strange. Maybe they made me a group leader or something." It turned out that everyone wearing a black shirt was either approaching post-secondary or was post-secondaryalready there, and the white shirts were young-ins. This made me think a lot of things. My first thought, obviously, was "I'm unc." I also thought, "Wow, there are so many young shepherds out there. Respect!" But I'm not gonna lie, a small, quite arrogant, part of me thought, "How much am I gonna get out of this?" After the sermon of the first night, we all broke out into small groups, and I found myself in group 12. As I expected, I was the oldest there. I was 7 years older than my small group leader. And I won't sugarcoat it, our first sharing was really awkward - it didn't help that we were all strangers, and it sort of felt like, even though I was trying to lighten up the mood and share deeply, our members weren't being very receptive. After the sharing, later that night, I thought to myself again, "I wonder how much I'll get out of NewGen" But God gave me a lot of things to be thankful for. Firstly, I believe that God really gave me the heart to surrender that doubt to Him. In the moment, I tried looking past the seemingly bad things and I tried acknowledging and appreciating the things I felt were really good. Looking back, I think it was a pretty immature and cringey thing to have to do, especially considering how good things actually were. The buffet pizza was so yum yum delicious that I had it every single meal. The praise team was so so so good and the praise was absolutely fire. And I really want to highlight how impactful the sermons were. Just before going to NewGen, I had attended our Members Retreat, and I felt that God was calling me to stop being so ashamed of my so-called "failures" in ministry, but instead count my blessings and do more, since I was made for more. And God really made this message clear to me through the sermons at NewGen. The messages reminded us that I, as well as everyone around me, am a child of God, a member of a spiritual family that is to love the members of that spiritual family, the same way I am loved by God. One particular sermon that I remember talked about how one sheep that wanders off from Jesus and the pack of 99 is so precious to Him, and how Jesus not only goes looking for that wandering sheep, but rejoices over finding it more than over the 99 that stayed put. In that moment, I really felt called by God to pour out my love for the people in my life that seem far from Him. I wanted to have a heart that rejoices when God's hearts does, and breaks when God's heart breaks. Also, as the conference went on, I felt my small group members opening up to each other more and more. Our sharing got deeper, we worked really hard together on a video that introduced our group to the other 19, and we all wrote nice messages in each other's farewell cards. Also, I'm really thankful to have spent more time with people who travelled to the conference with me. I had an extremely funny and memorable grocery shopping trip with Pastor Anthony, my amazing roommate for the conference. That trip ended in us carrying a huge pack of water bottles for what seemed in the moment like a thousand miles, but in all honesty, it was a really lovely time and it was so worth it in the end. I got a lot closer to our children shepherds like 나율이 and Laura and I had so much fun dancing to Gabriela and I Thank God. Somehow, they didn't find me too cringe. Or maybe they did and they just had to accept me for who I am. I also got to have really meaningful and wholesome conversations with Dohyeon, and every time we did, I remember admiring her more and more for the amazing woman of God that she is, and I remember feeling really lucky that I got to be there with her. All in all, even though I didn't initially know what the conference had to offer, and I had my doubts, God showed me that He, indeed, had many great things in store, and I'm really thankful that I got to go because I got closer to so many amazing people and I was able to experience God in incredible ways. Ultimately, I feel like God is giving me a clear instruction to continue experiencing His love so I can share it with those around me. After coming back from the conference, I feel a strong sense of urgency to spread that love to those in my YHC and adult house church, and I hope that, as I continue to do so, God will grow my heart to be more like His. Thank you for listening!
August 17, 2025 • 7 Minute Read
Members Retreat Testimony - Byoungwhee Sohn
Hello everyone, My name is Byoungwhee Sohn, and this is my testimony about what I felt and experienced at the Members Retreat, Joy. When I signed up for the retreat this summer, I was thinking about how the past retreats have been amazing and how each one has affected me in a different way, but I didn’t realize that this retreat would be much more impactful. If I were to put it to scale, the other retreats would hit me like a birdie hitting me in the head, and then this retreat would be like a volleyball being spiked into my chest. I’m not disrespecting the past retreats,They are each special in their own ways, I’m saying that this retreat had spoken to me personally on a whole new different level. On the second day of retreat after our 2nd service, we had a time of blessing prayer from Pastor Eric. So I wanted to sit down and receive what God wanted to say to me through Pastor Eric. When he came around, it was my turn to receive the prayer, he started praying for me, and suddenly, there was one word that stood out to me, SACRIFICE. In that moment when he said that word, It felt as though God was reminding me of all the sacrifices I have made. The things that I was reminded of, was my sacrifice for my career, and the possibilities of going further out into the world to find work, but I was instead called to stay here to commit to be a serving member in the praise team and later, deciding to become a youth shepherd for the next 3 years. This then spiraled me into thinking of what Pastor Eric had said in his previous sermons, about how I need to die to myself, to sacrifice my self, in order to grow and bear many fruits for the future of our church. If I hadn’t decided to commit to becoming a youth shepherd, and I had left to pursue my career, I guarantee you that I would not be standing here today sharing what God has done for me in this time of rest and reflection. I would like to share my prophetic message that one of our previous guest speakers, Pastor Doug, has spoken to me during the members retreat in 2023. I will give a shortened summary of what he said. There is this river of God, it’s calm, and its flowing like a lazy river. Many people were in it, they were praising, dancing and laughing, you can visibly see that people are having an amazing time in this river, but I was just standing right on the edge of this river simply watching. He told me that I wasn’t against it, that I was interested in what I saw, but I just wasn’t in the river. Then there was God in the river with his hand out reaching to me inviting me asking, “will you join me?” But, the thing about this river is, I cannot simply wade through it bit by bit, I have to jump into the river At the time it didn't really have a lot of meaning to me, and I was a little confused as to what he was talking about. Was his vision saying I’m not a christian? Am I not doing enough to be more christian, or to be with God? I was reflecting on this for a while and I tried to understand the meaning of his vision for me, if what he said would come true, and that I would feel this moment of God inviting me to trust him and that I may give my life to him. But that moment never came, and I had put it away to never be opened again since, Until the Joy retreat. After hearing pastor Eric's blessing prayer, I was instantly reminded of this prophetic message after 2 years, and in this moment I felt that God was honoring my heart, and that he was reaching his hand out to me. I felt this wave of encouragement, love, and I had felt God’s grace in that room. I had also volunteered at the RK retreat the week after the members' retreat and I didn’t really know what I got myself into, or what to expect. During the children’s ministry meeting before the retreat I was asking myself, why am I doing this to myself? Why did God tell me to serve in this different, stressful, uncomfortable environment? After the sermon on the second day, it was prayer time for the kids, and Pastor Anthony had asked all the staff and volunteers to pray for the kids sitting around. So I went to a child and asked if I could pray for them and they agreed. I started praying for them and as I kept praying halfway through, tears started falling. I was like, what the heck? Why am I crying? I’m the type of person who will get emotional when someone else does an action or says something that would be touching or moving emotionally. Like for example, how in the Lord of the Rings when the character Boromir fights off the Urak-hai and then sacrifices his life to save the Hobbits, that kind of thing moves me emotionally. But here I am, crying to MYSELF even though I’m the one thinking and saying this prayer to this child, like how am I MOVING myself? So I had to finish the prayer and I got up and went to the back of the room to wipe away my tears, and just breathe,and then it hit me. I didn’t move myself. It was God who moved me, he was blessing me with these words, not only for the child that I was praying for, but for me, his other child. To go back to the members retreat, I was challenged by Pastor Eric through his message, where he talked a lot about how we should be more inclined to outreach to more VIP’s. After hearing his words, I personally felt very convicted, I felt as though I was being called out for not doing my part in serving the mission of our church. For the past few years I’ve always tried thinking of inviting some of my friends to church and or House Church, but I always make an excuse in my mind, saying that they aren't suited for the “church environment". I think this is a bad mentality to have when thinking of which VIP’s to bring to church. I think we have built up this standard of who to bring to church. I felt that there is this stillness of seeing the same people every week at church and at house church, and I am guilty of this feeling of complacency,where I say to myself, I’m okay with this. I’m sure a few of you may also feel this way as well. God has given us a mission, to bring more people, more VIP’s into the church, a place to feel belonged. Pastor Eric is right when he said this to our congregation, we are truely blessed at what we have here at The Seed, and that we should share this community with others. He said this at the retreat that moved me; Invite people till the ends of the earth. I would like to challenge you all, to think about a VIP in your life, they can be anyone that you know of that you think should hear the word of God. Even if you say to yourself,” nahh, they don’t seem like they will fit into the “church environment". I want to remind you that the ends of the earth do not stop right before that one person. So I encourage you all to think about God’s VIP’s and invite them to hear your testimonies. I thank god for all the blessings and the opportunities he has given me to sacrifice my life for the fruit of this church. I now feel as though I took a leap of faith into that river. Thank you for listening.
July 28, 2024 • 7 Minute Read
New Life (4) Testimony - Jeesu Sohn
Hi everyone!I am up here today to share with you how God has transformed my life in the past few months as I was taking New Life Bible Study. I need to begin by saying that throughout my transformation, I committed to a few small things: one of significance today being that I would share specifically so that my life can be a living testimony to God’s goodness. I am very grateful for this opportunity to share publicly just how good God is–because I am not here to talk about MY life; but rather, what God has done to save my life. I grew up in the church. I prayed, I sang songs about Jesus, I took Bible studies, and in my arrogance, I thought I knew all there was to know about God. When I left home five years ago, I not only left behind family and friends, but I left God behind, too. It wasn’t that I stopped believing in God or was hurt by the church–I simply discovered so many other things out there that seemed more attractive than a God. I’d rather spend my time chasing after money, popularity, titles, possessions, and quick pleasures. I lived in constant fear that if one of these things were taken away, I would be worth nothing. I led a life chasing earthly and bodily pleasures that may have seemed glamourous, but I lived in fear, jealousy, resentment, and vanity, and God was soon nowhere to be found in my life, but a distant memory. One year ago, I returned home, completely broken. I had just ended a long term relationship, I was frightened about my future, and all those things I had put my trust in had let me down in the end. Though I was attending church and house church, I knew I was just going through the motions. I was afraid of God and what He would think of me and my sinful past, especially as someone who grew up in the church and should have known better. I was consumed by guilt and shame. I didn’t even think I was worthy of God anymore and my shame kept me far away from God. But I knew there was something broken within me that I could not fix myself. Early on this year, as I remembered how good God was to me during my youth, I signed up for Daniel Fast with a prayer request of finding God again. I had not expected anything of it, but to my surprise, God revealed Himself to me. He told me that I am called ‘clean’ because of Christ and that I should expect ‘good things to come’. I had never in my life heard God’s voice so clearly. I was overwhelmed by such a good God, a God who reaches out across the void, a God who was so forgiving, that it made me want more–which is why I signed up for New Life. New Life Bible Study was the perfect thing for me in this season. I had taken this course before, maybe 10 years ago, but this time around was especially impactful, because I was desperate to know God more. New Life teaches small, practical ways to live FOR and WITHIN God, every day. The most valuable thing I take away is the Listening Room and Quiet Time. The Listening Room is a consistent time and place where you go to talk to God every day. Quiet Time is an exercise of our own intellect and illumination from the Holy Spirit applied to the Bible. Previously, I had taken both of these things for granted. I thought I knew everything there was to know about the Bible; and prayer was just making requests to God when things weren’t going my way. But as my life began to run parallel to the teachings in New Life (it’s kind of crazy how God caters to our individual learning styles), I discovered a fundamental truth. Towards the end of New Life, as I was beginning to gain confidence in my own faith, I began to feel the same shame of the past creep back in. A small voice kept telling me: “How can you call yourself a servant of God with your sinful past? How can you think God will use you when you have failed so much?” I struggled with this for many weeks. I didn’t know who the voice belonged to. But thanks to New Life, I knew this was a test of faith, and I was determined to find the truth, and the truth, I knew now, was in the Scripture. Previously, when I’d face a challenge, I would default to troubleshooting mode. “I” had to fix it. “I” had to “DO” something. It was all about “ME” and my “ABILITIES”. And in my frenzy, I would often make hasty and wrong decisions. But for the first time, in order to face my struggle, I turned to the Bible and visited the Listening Room–which was a daily walk around the neighbourhood. I asked God, over and over again, “Please let me hear your voice. Tell me what to do. I do not want to go where YOU are not there.” I have to admit, I could not hear God at that time. The voice that told me I am my failures was growing louder. But the verses I was reading for QT kept pointing towards the same thing: “Rejoice”. Rejoice in God. I wanted to know what that meant. I remember being at the Adults Retreat, still praying for God to speak to me. I thought a lot about “rejoicing in the Lord”, which was a verse given to me the previous night. That day, a friend (who had no idea what I had been going through) pulled me aside. She said that God wanted her to tell me: “God is pleased with you.” In that moment, my head flooded with memories of reading the Bible and going on my Listening Room walks for the past few weeks. Instantly, I realized that that it wasn’t my successes or things I wanted to “do” for God that God was pleased with, that in the end, what God had really been looking at was my heart. It was my heart and desire to know Him more, to seek him in the Bible and in prayer, that pleased Him. And finally understanding this gave me such clarity, direction, and peace. I knew exactly what I must do now, and it was so simple! All I am to do is to continue to seek God in all the ways I can, and He is going to do the rest for me. God is so good, He is alive, and He is fighting my battles! It is because of God’s goodness that I can stand here and say that I have been transformed. I truly rejoice in Him because I have experienced that goodness. God sees past my sins and my shame, He sees much deeper than that. He rescued me before I even knew I needed rescuing. He forgave me first; He always answers when I ask to hear His voice. Nothing can take away this joy and peace that I’ve found in God, and I am for the first time in my life, excited to share about everything He has done for me. I am a new life through God. I know now that God is constantly wanting to speak with me. I love going to my Listening Room and always excited to see what other truths the Scripture holds. And even though my prayers may not be answered right away, I know God has already won this battle and the next.
August 18, 2024 • 5 Minute Read
Confirmation Testimony — Lisa Ahn
Hello everyone, my name is Lisa, and I’d like to share my spiritual journey and the path that led me to confirmation. Like many of us here, I was born into a Christian family and have been attending church from a young age. For much of my life, attending Sunday services was simply another task to check off my to-do list. In the early years, I didn’t question much about God, as I would often forget the pastor's sermons and continue with my day. The only message that stuck with me was, “Keep praying God hears and watches over everything.” As I grew older, God became less central in my life, and attending church became challenging because we moved a lot. Eventually, my family settled at a church, where we stayed for about four to five years. During this time, I felt that my relationship with God was growing, and so I became involved in the leadership and praise teams, wanting to contribute to the ministry. But as time passed, I no longer felt God’s presence. I felt disconnected from my friends, and God seemed distant. It was then that I realized the problem wasn’t that God had left me; rather, I had become prideful in my roles and relationships. I believe that this was why God led me to The Seed, a community where I could depend on the right people and grow in the way God wanted. In Genesis, God tells Adam, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” This is the first time God explicitly says something is “not good.” We were created to depend on God—for the Gospel, for wisdom, and for companionship. I had always depended on others, but not the right people at the right time. However, this time God sent me to The Seed and my house church members, allowing me to engage in a deeper relationship with him. The Seed accepted me for who I was, even though I wasn’t anyone’s VIP and had come from another church. Despite the warm welcome, I initially doubted whether I could restore my relationship with God and find my place at The Seed. I was scared and hesitant to reveal my shallow commitment and relationship with God. In these times, my youth house church helped me a lot. For those of you who don’t know, I was in Seoyeon unnie HC for a little bit more than a year, and it was my first experience of a house church. Seoyeon unnie, Erin, Sarin, Isabella, and Jeansolle were my members. Being in her house church truly made my time at the Seed a lot better, as settling into a new church can be difficult. They would always reach out to me and I’ve always waited for our home gathering so that I could chat and connect with my members. One moment that brought me closer to my house church members and Seoyeon unnie was during the youth retreat. I spoke with Seoyeon Unnie on the second night about my life and how difficult it was for me to be myself. She listened, prayed for me, and encouraged me to engage more in church activities. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful and supportive youth shepherd and members. Now, I’m in the Chiang Rai HC with several members, and I’ve never felt so supported, welcomed, and babied by everyone. Nowadays, I look forward to our house church every Friday, including Jenn’s delicious dinners! Despite all of the wonderful events that happened to me, It wasn’t until this year that I fully surrendered myself to God, and this happened when I took Starting Point. At that time, I was struggling with relationship issues with my friends. It was a challenging period because I had trusted them deeply and was hurt more than I expected. Entering Starting Point with these emotions led me to question God, asking, “Why me?” However, I do not regret taking Starting Point, as I am certain that God was providing me with the answers I needed—to forgive, to move on because God has something greater planned for me. After completing Starting Point and speaking with my former youth shepherd, Seoyeon Unnie, who had been encouraging me to take GPS for months, I finally signed up. During GPS, a verse that resonated with me was Revelation 3:20, which states: “See! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” This verse made a deep impression on me because it reminded me that Jesus is always there, waiting for me. He knows all my scars and faults, yet He never leaves me alone. Now, I understand that I don’t have to face challenges on my own—all I need to do is open my heart to Jesus. After GPS and receiving Christ, I haven’t experienced any dramatic changes in my life. However, I now live with the mindset that God is with me and with those I care about, so there is nothing to fear. I may never feel like I’m enough for The Seed or anyone in my life, but I will try my best to serve, not out of obligation or to return the favor, but because it was what I was told to do as a follower of Christ. Thank you to everyone at the Seed, including Pastor Caleb, Pastor Anthony, my house church, and most of all, my own family, for your unwavering support in getting me to reach this point in my journey.
January 5, 2025 • 5 Minute Read
Growing Life Testimony - Esther Ahn
Hi everyone. My name is Esther and I’ll be sharing my experience taking Growing life with my lovely shepherd Joy. For 7 weeks, I met one on one with Joy to go through the keys to spiritual growth. Before I decided to take up Growing life, I was in an undesirable situation where I had to work more in order to raise money for my school tuition. For those who may not know, I work at a bakery called Cinnabon. I was really not looking forward to working there more, as I dreaded the long late hours. I felt discouraged about where I was in my life and even shared with my house church that I thought I was going to be depressed. That’s when I committed to having consistent QT with God. I began to experience peace and joy despite my circumstances and realized this was a crucial time to root myself in God, so I reached out to Joy. Throughout Growing Life, I learned many things, like being part of the body of Christ and the different aspects of salvation, and simply spending time with Joy felt very blessed. There were several instances where I saw answered prayer and the impact of of application of what we learned in our lives, But what impacted me most was the focus on VIPs (those who don’t know Christ) in my life and the indwelling Christ who lives in me. When I thought about my VIPS, I realized most of them were my co-workers, I began to see each person there as someone God longs to have a relationship with and my desire for them to know their Heavenly Father grew very strong. I started to pray for my VIPS, and for Christ to dwell in me. I started seizing opportunities to talk about faith and salvation, sharing my testimony of how God freed from me from depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. I was having deeper conversations with my co-worker’s on their relationship with God, even with visiting managers of other stores. This was kinda crazy to me because I used to fear being seen as pushy or too Christian. But that fear was replaced with a desire to share what God had done in my life and His longing for all to be saved. The next week I met Joy and I told her, “I don’t know what came over me, but this week I was so bold about sharing my faith” she told me “Esther, I believe that was the Holy Spirit within you”. It wasn’t by my strength but through being filled with the Spirit that I could witness to unbelievers. Now when I look at my workplace, I don’t just see it as a depressing place where I just make money, but an opportunity and place to make Christ known. Last Monday, while I was working at Cinnabon, we suddenly saw people running out of the mall, telling us to get down and hide. Stores around us started closing, so we turned off our lights, locked the door and hid crouched down in the backroom. None knew what was happening and some were convinced there was a shooter in the mall. The crew working that day consisted of 4 girls, me being the oldest and in charge, and the youngest were in high school. They were scared, crying, trying to call their parents and 911. I stayed calm, kept watch on the door, and reassured them everything would be okay. Earlier that day, I had given the girls a story time about a relational situation I prayed about and how God answered my prayer. While hiding in the backroom, one of the girls asked me “Esther, can you pray for us?” So, out loud, I whispered a prayer asking God to protect us and for everything to be okay. Strangely, I was very calm and collected the entire time. Eventually, someone came and knocked on the door to let us know it was safe. We later learned there had been a robbery involving people with sledge hammers and axes. Though shaken, we were all fine. The co-worker who had asked me to pray said “Esther, thank you for praying for us—you prayer worked!” She later even half-joked about going back to church and expressed her awe in how I was so calm. I realized that my personal story earlier had given them a belief, even if it was just for a short time, that the God I prayed to might be real and present in that moment. I want to end on the verse we read in growing life that really challenged me to be a witness:(Matthew 28:19-20) “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” I believe God has called me to witness to the unbelievers in my life. This year I want to pray for boldness, to receive the Holy Spirit, so that, as I witness, others will see Christ in my words, my life, and my actions, and they will feel the undeniable impact of His presence in me. Sometimes I worry, “What in my life would be important to an unbeliever?” and maybe you’ve felt this concern too. But I want to remind you and myself that as believers, we have already passed from death to life, and Christ’s Spirit already lives in us, ready to fill us whenever we ask. A quote in the book we read says “A witness is one who gives evidence, and you have so much to give evidence about because Christ is living through you. I want to thank Joy who led me, guided me, and prayed for me throughout those 7 weeks and thank God for His unending faithfulness and constant presence. Thank you for listening.